If Cam's being honest with himself, he's still getting used to the fact that he's allowed to have all this. Not just Eric, but touching Eric, staying with Eric. It's all brand new. And, okay, it didn't occur to him that he might want it until about thirty seconds before he kissed Eric for the first time three months ago; but he's twenty-fucking-eight, which should mean he gets some leeway for re-adjusting how he looks at things.

So, he's not used to it. But it's good. Really fucking good, which is why when Eric stops kissing him against the door one night to say, "I want…something," really seriously, Cam's stomach twists a little in spite of himself.

"So?" he finally says. "Spit it out, Staal."

Eric grins a little, looking sheepish, before saying, "I kind of want to be on top?"

He's fucked Cam a couple times, so Cam's really not sure how this is news. "Okay, sure," he says, instead of saying what the fuck, that's not a big deal or something along those lines.

"Awesome," Eric says, like he hasn't just been really weird. He leans in and kisses Cam's neck, leaning into him so Cam is pressed against the door a little harder, and cups him through his jeans.

Cam's easy for Eric. It's a fact he went the vast majority of their relationship not knowing, but that doesn't really matter; it got really fucking obvious really quickly after they started this whole thing. So it's not really a surprise to Cam that he goes with Eric easily, letting Eric lead him upstairs. Eric strips him, kissing him all the while, then pushes him down on the bed. He takes his clothes off like it's no big deal, like Cam doesn't want to stare at him.

There'll be time for that later, though. Right now, Cam grabs Eric and pulls him on top of Cam, kissing him and gripping his hip tightly. Eric's dick is flush against his, and they grind together as they kiss, Eric sometimes breaking the kiss to smile stupidly.

After awhile, Cam's interest turns into borderline desperation. It doesn't help that Eric keeps reaching down between them and jerking Cam off, too briefly to be anything but a tease. He finally breaks and says, "Eric, come on," spreading his legs.

Eric grins and breaks away. "So I have to do all the work, huh?" he says, leaning over Cam with his impossibly lanky arms and grabbing the lube and condoms.

"Absolutely," Cam says, narrowing his eyes for effect.

Eric's smile doesn't flicker as he squeezes the lube out and rubs it onto his fingers. But then he sits up straighter, reaches back and -

Oh. Oh. That kind of on top.

"Jesus," Cam says. "You should have said - fuck, fuck, let me." He fumbles with the lube, snapping his jaw shut and resolving not to make a bigger idiot out of himself than he already has.

Eric rolls over for him easily, spreads his legs and tilts his hips up like they've never done anything else. Cam swallows hard and presses two fingers into him - two, because he likes doing it slowly, but he knows Eric wants to be pushed. That has to be the point of this.

Sure enough, Eric's eyes go wide and his hand goes straight to his dick. "Fuck," he says, jerking himself off - the lube making it easy - as Cam slowly, slowly pushes his fingers in all the way.

Once he's there, he fucks Eric shallowly, leaning up so he can kiss Eric. Eric's breath is stuttering and he's shaking more than not, but he's still hard and he keeps his eyes fixed on Cam when Cam moves away again.

Cam pushes a third finger in without any ceremony, crooking them and loosening Eric up. He doesn't normally love this, but Eric's feet are flat against the bed, his hips arching with Cam's movements, and yeah, Cam could get really fucking used to this.

When he thinks Eric's ready, he pulls his fingers out and wipes them on the bed before putting on a condom and lubing it up. Eric says, "Let me," and pushes Cam back, straddling him and hovering over him.

He's looking at Cam strangely, and Cam has no idea what to say. So finally he just says, as sarcastically as he can manage, "Well?"

Eric screws his face up, biting back a laugh, and then grabs Cam's dick, lowering himself onto it.

It should, Cam thinks distantly, look ridiculous. Eric is long-limbed and spindly, the type of guy Cam's never been into before. But Eric's flushed all the way down and is biting his lip hard, and when he settles down with Cam against him, he leans forward, one hand braced on Cam's chest.

Cam grips Eric's hips with both hands and just tries to hold on, because fuck is this working for him.

"Jesus," Eric says. He sits up straight and splays his other hand on Cam's chest, too, grinding his hips slowly. "This is…damn."

"You could say that," Cam says hoarsely. He's aware, suddenly, that he's gripping Eric's hips way too tight. But when he loosens his grip, Eric says, "Wait, no, I - I liked that," and flushes again.

So Cam tightens his hands and guides Eric as he moves. Eric's not what Cam would call graceful, but he's so fucking confident; he rides Cam like he's just using Cam, like Cam's incidental to him getting off. He's not even bothering to touch his own dick yet, just moving his hips in filthy thrusts, over and over, throwing his head back when Cam hits a good spot and Eric's hips stutter.

Cam's so turned on he's dizzy with it, so turned on that when Eric speeds up, one hand tightening into a fist atop Cam's chest, all Cam can do is hold on. Eric moves faster and faster until they're both on the edge, then gasps, "Cam, please."

Cam gets the hint and wraps a hand around Eric's dick, jerking him off quickly. He's going to come soon, but he wants Eric to get there first; it's his idea, then, to grab Eric's hand and move it up to his mouth, sucking and biting at his wrist.

That does it for Eric. He comes with a loud, dirty moan, stiffening and coming all over Cam's chest. Cam jerks him through it, then settles both his hands on Eric's hips and thrusts a couple times, completely without rhythm or technique, before he finally comes.

He half expects Eric to climb off right away. Eric does pull off Cam, and Cam tosses the condom; but instead of lying next to him, Eric stays on top, leaning down and kissing him.

Eric usually kisses like he doesn't know what a secret means, but now he's somehow even more than he usually is. They kiss and kiss until finally Eric slowly moves off Cam.

Cam hesitates for a second, then pulls Eric close. He's not normally a fan of cuddling, but something about Eric's loose-limbed satisfaction makes Cam not want to let go of him just yet.

After a while, kissing turns into Eric's head tucked into the crook of Cam's shoulder. When Eric speaks, his voice is a little rough. "That was fun."

"It was."

"And intense."

"Yep."

"You're not up for talking, are you?"

Cam smiles. "Nope."

"Right." Eric yawns. "I'm crashing. Night."

"Goodnight," Cam says, and closes his eyes.

He ends up waiting until Eric falls asleep; it's not on purpose, but he likes listening to Eric's breathing slow down as he relaxes bit by bit. Cam's head is still spinning a little, and he's still controlling his breathing the way he would during intermission or when he's trying not to come. Eric doesn't seem bothered; he's a warm, content lump next to Cam, not even twitching in his sleep.

Eventually, though, Cam tells himself he can wake Eric up in the morning with a blowjob and forces himself to relax. He shifts a little, bumping Eric just enough so that he can curl around him.

What they have, he thinks as he drifts off, is really fucking good.