He woke to see the Hux staring at him, and immediately felt the sinking certainty that he was in a lot of trouble. Hux had lieutenants to do the lower-level torturing for him.

"Good evening," he said.

"Eugh," Finn said. All terror about his future aside, he felt like he'd been chewing on death-flavored cotton. "No, I don't think so."

"How did you learn to be so impudent? We don't teach that to the troopers."

"You know we're not droids, right? They don't just — power down and stop thinking once they're out of the classroom."

But he'd already shown a weakness, and he knew Hux had noticed, smirking at him. "We? Or they? Where do your loyalties lie, FN-2187?"

"Not with you, that's for sure."

"Then whom? That ragtag band of fools fashioning itself the Resistance? Or perhaps your lover, the fool Kylo Ren?"

Finn pressed his lips together. If Hux thought he'd give answers willingly, well, he'd be waiting a long time.

"Ah, I see. Well, no matter: we've all the time in the world." Hux stood. "Your room is guarded in several different ways. Do us both a favor and don't try to escape. I can tell my soldiers not to kill you, but I've had it on good authority that quite a few of the stormtroopers would like to kill the traitor regardless of what their beloved Grand Admiral says."

Finn closed his eyes so Hux wouldn't see him rolling them.

"I look forward to changing this...mood of yours, FN-2187."

And Finn was left alone in the dark.

Or, well: Hux certainly thought he was alone. He must have known about Finn's training with the Force, but maybe he didn't understand what it meant. Kept in a distracting environment, beaten or drugged, Finn wouldn't be able to reach out with the Force. But he was fine now — a little fuzziness in the head didn't stop him from closing his eyes and extending his senses, trying to figure out where he was.

The Force wasn't a cure-all. For starters, it was everywhere and in everything, so getting an actual sense of place from the Force was easier conceptualized than achieved. But Finn was also tired and scared, and it was harder than usual to get a fix on himself, much less the world around him.

When he finally managed to extend his senses outside himself, he found himself desperately wishing he hadn't.

Pain reverberated through the ship. The lower hold, where stormtroopers slept, was screaming — but even the area where pain was lightest still ripped through him like a direct hit from a blaster. The whole ship was so full of misery it was a wonder it could propel itself through space.

And the Force mourned.

Finn rarely thought of the Force as having feelings. He carried the Guardians' lore inside him, the closest-kept secret he'd ever have, and that lore said the Force was alive, in some mysterious and unknowable way. But feelings as Finn understood them were beyond it; it wasn't a sentient being as they understood such things. Finn shouldn't be able to feel mourning, agony, pain, from the Force itself. But right now, he could.

He didn't discover where he was. He could only sit with the pain and try to find a way out to the other side. Hux visited him again, after a day had passed, presumably. It was hard to gage the passage of time even when just serving on a ship; when being held prisoner, under constant light and completely alone, it became nearly impossible.

"Ready to talk? We know you went to see the traitor Calrissian. We know he tried to teach you some ridiculous ancient Force pap. We know everything, FN-2187."

"Don't call me that."

Hux laughed. Finn had expected it; he didn't respond.

"Come now, why don't you just tell me? What do you possibly have to gain from staying loyal to the losing side?"

Finn closed his eyes and reached out again with the Force. Hux was an ugly blemish, simultaneously so awful the Force bent around him, and utterly insignificant. He reached out further, past the maelstrom of pain that was the First Order fleet, out into the stars. Technically there was no life here — but there was the Force. And somewhere far beyond, there was the Resistance.

And Kylo, his heart whispered.

Hux left at some point; Finn didn't notice. Either he'd try to hurt Finn for information or he wouldn't. He was holding back for some reason that Finn didn't quite understand. It wasn't really in Finn's best interests to dwell on Hux's motivations, so he didn't. He had to get off the ship, and to do that, he needed to contact the Resistance.

He reached for Rey, reached and reached. For Jedi, the power it took to cross the universe could kill a person. The Guardians had a different view of it. Finn drew power and strenght from the stars he passed, from the Force itself. It didn't drain his life energy; instead, it sustained him, even as his consciousness raced further from his body.

This was how the Guardians had lived so long, and the potential behind such power was why they'd died. If Hux caught him at it, if he somehow knew what Finn was doing -

He needed to find Rey. As soon as possible.

Finally, after what felt like an eon of searching, he felt her in the Force. She was unmistakably herself, strong and fierce and shining so bright. "Rey."

"Finn! Oh my stars, oh — Poe, wait, it's Finn!"

He couldn't see Poe, but it warmed him to know he was close. It took him a moment to form words; he was so tired, it felt like he was talking through porridge. "I'm on Hux's ship. I'm not sure where, exactly."

"You're in the Karthakk system. We've been tracking his ship — it's lucky you're there, we couldn't launch a rescue operation without knowing for sure, no matter what Kylo wants. Oh, Finn, are you okay? Are you — it's been weeks."

"Weeks?" No, it couldn't have been. He'd thought a few days, tops.

"Three weeks. Kylo's going mad, so's Lyssa and me — in different ways, obviously."

"Obviously." Three weeks. It was hard to hold into the projection with shock running through him like this. "I'm okay," he finally said. "Um, Hux keeps trying to ask me questions, but he's not — hurting me. Yet."

"Yet?"

"Well, I think he's building up to it. Psychological torture, or whatever."

"He won't get a chance to." Grim determination colored Rey's tone, filling Finn with comforting recognition. "Hold on, okay? We're coming for you."

"Yeah. Yeah, I will."

"We love you."

Finn didn't have to ask who we was. "I love you, too."

Slowly, slowly, he pulled back into his own body. He half expected to see Hux when he opened his eyes. Surely someone had noticed his trance, had drawn the correct conclusions about what it meant. But the room was empty, the Force steady in misery around him. If they planned to drag secrets out of him, they were still biding their time. And if they didn't recognize a trance, they didn't know nearly as much as Hux had been trying to make him believe.

Finn closed his eyes again, trying and failing to ignore the fear stealing through him. Hurry, Rey. Please hurry, he whispered into the Force.

"Finn!"

He stood in a nightclub akin to the one on Canto Bight, only instead of being full of horrible rich people, this one was empty. Well, empty for the person running towards him.

"Finn, Finn, oh, kriffing — Rey told me — I wasn't sure —" Kylo clutched him, his fingers digging into Finn's shoulders way too hard as he peppered kisses all over Finn's head, his neck — anywhere he could reach. "Tell me you're okay. Are you — what are they doing to you? Where are you?"

"I told Rey," Finn said. He felt stupider than usual, his tongue clumsy and too-slow. "This isn't real. This isn't —"

"It is." Kylo kissed him full on the mouth. It was a bad kiss, desperate and ragged, too much tongue and biting. Finn kissed back even as terror ripped through him.

"This one's real?" he said when Kylo gave him room to breathe.

"They all are. Have been." Kylo was still holding him by the shoulders. Finn winced and his grip weakened a little. "I nearly let you die not knowing — we're coming to get you."

Finn held up a hand. His brain wasn't working right, same as with Rey. He could feel Kylo in the Force, of course, his screaming desperation and — feelings Finn shied away from, even now. But it was all dulled, like trying to see through the murky water of a pond.

"Hux has likely been — Finn — Finn, wait, no, look at me. Don't close your eyes."

Finn opened his eyes. Huh. Had he closed them?

"Hux has likely been drugging you, hoping your mind will weaken," Kylo said. Rough thumbs brushed against the corners of Finn's eyes. "It's a fairly standard step to take with captured fighters who are expected to be — mentally resilient."

People who might die before any kind of torture worked. People for whom conditioning failed; people like Finn. Right. "What can I do?"

Another kiss, this time a gentle brush of lips as Kylo's hands shook against his cheek. "Stay alive. Just stay alive, Finn, and we'll do the rest."

"But —"

It was too late. His eyes had closed again, and the pressure of Kylo's body against him lightened and lightened, until he was once again floating alone in the darkness.

"Ah, so you've figured it out," Hux said when he saw the full glass of water next to Finn's pallet.

"Drugging me's a low blow even for you. What, were you hoping I'd spill state secrets while I slept for days at a time?" It was the only thing that made sense and squared with him still being able to feel the Force. What he'd thought were long-ish nights of sleep had been days of induced unconsciousness. It chilled him to think about, even glancingly.

"It's a fairly simple and low-cost way to induce terror and disorientation," Hux said. "We'll get your secrets eventually, one way or another."

"I figured you'd strap me to a chair and start pulling my teeth out one by one."

"Is that what you fantasize about, FN-2187? No wonder Ren was so preoccupied with you."

"Ugh." Finn looked away.

"I need to know what Calrissian taught you."

Finn shrugged.

Hux sighed. "It's been a month, you see, and our best officers haven't found a way inside your mind."

Finn thought of Kylo, of all the dreams he now knew to be true. He didn't respond.

"I don't want to have to hurt you." Hux pulled a knife out of his belt. "It's tedious work, after all, and I'm a very important man. But I will."

"You know, torture produces false information more than anything else. I could just lie."

"Oh, naturally. But we lose nothing from keeping you." Hux smiled at Finn. It was almost a friendly expression, except for the watery eyes. Except for the transparent eagerness to see Finn hurting. "And I do enjoy knowing you're miserable, FN-2187. You cost me so many good soldiers, so much time and effort. Yes, I might not enjoy the work itself, but its results? Those are worth...savoring."

Finn kept his eyes on the knife and didn't respond.

After a long moment, Hux sighed. "Very well; suit yourself. We'll talk later."

He'd been gone for maybe five minutes when the mist filled the air, sickly green in color and smelling like rotten potatoes. Finn choked, almost reaching for his water to clear the taste from his mouth before remembering the drugs. It was too late then, though. He watched his hands begin to shake, felt his connection to the Force waver. Between one breath and the next, he was asleep again.

He half thought he'd wake up to a knife under his skin, so the blaring alarms were a vast improvement even before he felt Rey's blazing presence, and Lyssa beside her. He's here, he felt-and-heard Lyssa say — and then a lightsaber stabbed through his door.

"Finn!" Rey shouted. The door fell with a bang and Rey and Lyssa rushed in.

"We could have gotten it open the more traditional way," Lyssa said dryly, but she leaped forward alongside Rey to hug Finn, who realized belatedly that he was crying.

"I told you," Rey said. "I told you we'd find you."

"Is — "

"Kylo's on the ship," Lyssa said. "He's the one who said we couldn't wait to run the mission, actually."

Finn would be embarrassed about how transparent he was being later. He sighed in relief, then said, "Okay. So, evac?"

"We're going to have to fight our way out." Rey didn't exactly look sad about it. She hefted her lightsaber and looked at Lyssa for agreement.

"Finn, stay between us, please," Lyssa said, and moved to take point. Rey tossed Finn a blaster.

He still felt disoriented, like maybe this was all a very wishful dream. His hands shook a bit as he gripped the weapon. "All right?" Rey said.

Finn nodded, grim determination settling in him. "Let's go."

The destroyer had been thrown into chaos. The usual patina of misery had become a roiling ocean; they passed several dead troopers and one dead officer. Finn did his best to focus on getting through, providing cover fire for Lyssa, keeping the people chasing him clear of Rey. They were nearly to the dock when a blast rocked the ship, sending everyone in the hallway flying.

He felt the pain in the Force before he saw it: Lyssa, lying on the ground with blaster holes in her stomach, her chest. "Lyssa! No, no, no no no —" He shot out wildly, killing the advancing 'troopers without a thought. His sister — he couldn't lose his sister, so soon after finding and then losing her again. He'd do anything — he leaned down, pulling the Force around him, readying himself to lift her as the hallway emptied of people.

But when he said, "Can we move you?", Lyssa glared at the far wall like it had shot her itself.

"You probably could. You shouldn't try. Go on, run. This is a rescue mission — rescue yourself."

For a moment Finn felt balanced on a dangerous precipice, the knowledge of the Guardians and his own rage warring for his attention in equal measure.

"Finn," Lyssa said, her tone making it obvious that she knew what he was thinking. "Finn, go."

"Absolutely not," Rey said, and raised a hand.

There was no way she could sustain this long, carrying Lyssa with the Force. But she didn't have to. They were a mere minute from the evac point; they'd come so close to getting out in one piece. Rey propelled Lyssa ahead of them, past the melee and onto -

The Falcon. Of course.

Rey moved into the pilot's seat, which Kylo abandoned to support Lyssa as she floated downward. "Poe, there's your signal. Get out of there. We're stealing escape pods," she added, like Finn was going to wonder about their plan when his sister was bleeding out on the floor.

"Finn." Lyssa reached up, grabbed his jacket. "I'm — pretty sure this is a mortal wound."

"No. You know I can — you know." He'd shared everything with her, this new sister of his. She knew all his secrets, and thus the Guardians'.

"It would kill you." She leveled a look at him. "Even with everything you've learned, it takes a village to save a life when the wound is this bad."

In the cockpit, Rey pulled them out into the blackness of space. She didn't say anything, didn't even glance back, and Finn was pathetically grateful. Whatever else happened, Rey would get them home.

Kylo, in contrast, couldn't seem to look away. He knelt down next to Lyssa too, and put a hand on Finn's shoulder. "There might be another way."

"You don't know. No one does." He'd made sure of it, kept the knowledge as secret as he knew how. Unending wells of power, breaking the way the natural world was meant to function — none of it could be permitted to reach the First Order. They'd raise themselves a legion of Snokes and destroy the entire galaxy.

"You're right, I don't know," Kylo said, pulling Finn back into reality with his huffy tone. "But she's going to die."

"Kriff you."

"Finn," Lyssa said. "It's okay."

"It's not," Kylo told her. "It's not," he repeated, looking Finn in the eye. "One thing, one area our teachings overlap —"

Finn laughed, wild and hollow. "There's nothing —"

"Energy transference," Kylo said. "Yes, you learned it, didn't you? You can't close those wounds on your own. With my strength, you can."

"If we get her to a med station —"

"She'll die before we're even halfway there, and you know it."

Finn looked down at Lyssa, then back up at Kylo. Kylo's expression was unreadable. He wasn't trustworthy, Finn thought wildly, he wasn't good, he was an asshole and a monster and -

And Finn knew he'd never survive losing his sister.

"I trust you," Lyssa whispered. "Whatever you try to do. But he's right, Finn. I'm dying." Unspoken, but obvious in their bond: he needed to be ready to let her go.

No. No. Not today.

"Okay," he told Kylo. "Give me your hands."

Kylo obeyed immediately, closing his eyes. Finn opened his mind and heart as he'd learned to, and saw — felt — the well of strength Kylo had to offer him.

His life. His power, burning brighter than anything Finn had ever seen. Open and unguarded, offered to Finn with wholehearted willingness.

Lyssa's life force was rapidly draining. Finn knew he had no time to hesitate, no time to think about what it all might mean. He reached out in the Force and drew Kylo's power inside of him.

It felt terribly familiar, almost as easy to grasp as Finn's own power. It filled him, warm and comforting, reminding him of the essential truth: they were all of the Force, and always would be.

He shored up Lyssa's heart first, sent power where blood ought to be pounding through her. Then he went to work repairing her wounds. Blaster wounds were always nasty — they were, after all, designed to kill. This was worse than usual, her body riddled with holes. He knitted up one, then another, carefully sustaining her with his and Kylo's combined power when her heart stopped and her brain seized.

Here, again, lived the Guardian's secrets. The best Jedi healers couldn't do what Finn, a Guardian novice, did once he'd closed her wounds: he held Lyssa's life force stable in his power as he restored her energy, nudging her heart and her cells into renewing themselves. When he felt her skin warm against his hand, her pulse steadying, he backed off. He sat with legs crossed, blinking slowly as he came out of his trance.

Next to him, Kylo wavered, then fell to his knees, breathing harshly. It was bad for both of them: Finn felt like he'd just scraped himself utterly raw, hollowed himself out. But his sister would live. She'd live, and no one else had to die to make that true.

"All right back there?" Rey called. They'd long since jumped into hyperspace.

Finn met Kylo's eyes. He looked like he had in that last, horribly true dream: desperate and transfixed, utterly focused on Finn.

"Yes," he said, his voice rusty. "We're all okay."

Lyssa spent the rest of the flight back to base leaning against Finn, sharing her gratitude and love through the Force. When they landed, she stood and gave Finn a speaking look. Ugh, Finn didn't want to try to reach some kind of emotional resolution with Kylo. Kylo was awful and Finn was —

No, he was too tired to pretend. Kylo was awful, and Finn was in love with him. Horribly, irrevocably.

He jerked his head at Kylo, leading him back to the mess area of the ship, away from where anyone could eavesdrop. Kylo leaned against the wall, looking at-home and ready to say something sarcastic. A little like his father, Finn thought: the father he'd killed. Was he really thinking about talking to Kylo about how he felt?

Unfortunately, yes. "You, um. Thanks. That meant a lot." Kriff, he sounded like a tongue-tied trainee meeting the General for the first time.

"I did it for you. Because you wanted me to." Kylo shrugged. "I think I'd probably do the same if you wanted to resuscitate Vader, frankly."

"You're really determined to make this difficult, huh."

"Not at all. I only want to be honest. You think you're in love with me."

"Hey!"

Kylo raised his eyebrows.

Kriff it. "So what if I do? You think I don't realize you're kind of psychotic? Of course I do."

"And you think, what, maintaining proximity will keep me on the straight and narrow? Perhaps someday I'll look at some defenseless little villager and think, ah yes, the Force runs through her, too."

"You already do, asshole," Finn said. "Come on, you can't seriously think — Kylo!"

Kylo looked up from the floor, where he was bracing himself up with his hands. His knees had buckled; his arms were trembling. He'd come to the brink of his strength just to help Finn.

"You nearly died to save my sister. You can't stand right now, because you wanted to save my sister. If you try to tell me that doesn't mean anything, I'm going to finish the job."

Kylo smiled a little then, like threats of murder were what really got him going. Well, who knew what kind of messed-up stuff First Order command types were into, really.

"I feel how I feel," Finn said when Kylo didn't respond. "You're not going to change that by being a jerk, okay?"

Kylo pushed himself back to his feet. He walked towards Finn, painfully slowly. Finn, who'd had so much time alone to think about what he had and hadn't managed to do with his life yet, stood his ground.

"I'm never going to be friends with Dameron," Kylo said.

Finn shrugged. "You guys can hang out without being best buds."

"I'm always going to be —"

"Oh, shut up," Finn said, and kissed him.

The riot of Kylo's emotions hit him like the vacuum of a breached hull, and for once he didn't try to shy away from it. He kissed Kylo harder when he felt that rush of affection and terror, pressed him back against the wall of the Falcon and splayed a hand on his chest. Kylo gasped beneath the touch, and Finn was nearly bowled over by the need in his mind, the sheer power of how badly he wanted Finn. He was desperate, and Finn had never felt more powerful.

"Fuck me," Kylo breathed into his mouth. "Just bend me over and — Finn, I want to feel it. I need to feel it."

Finn wanted to. He really did: it hurt to think of just how badly he wanted it. But...

"No. Or, wait, yes," he added when Kylo's face fell. "But — not like that. I want..." He crowded Kylo back even further, leaning up into his space. Kylo was broader and taller than Finn, but he let Finn move him; he seemed to need it. Finn kissed his jaw, his neck, and said, "Like this," stroking one very careful hand over Kylo's hip.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"No," Finn said. "Sorry."

"If I asked you to bend me over the pilot's seat —"

"Where Chewie sits? Ew!"

"And fuck me until I forget my own name, any of my names — you'd tell me no. You want roses, and gentle kisses, and —"

"I'll still fuck you." He couldn't help but kiss Kylo then, lips roughly catching together and then dragging over Kylo's jaw again. "But I want — you know I can feel you, right?"

"I do. I remember every painfully foolish dream."

"So let me have this," Finn said. "This." He combed a hand through Kylo's hair and tugged, very gently, letting some part of the ridiculous softness he felt steal into his expression.

"I...Finn."

Kylo didn't need to say an actual sentence. Finn could see it in his face, all the vulnerability and self-hate, the overwhelming doubt that Finn could possibly want what he did.

It wasn't all that enjoyable. It hurt him, actually, made him sad for Kylo and himself and their whole fucked-up world. But he could do something about that, so he did, kissing Kylo again and again and doing his best to send his sincerity through the Force.

When he pulled back a second time, Kylo gasped for breath. His hair was wild from Finn's touches, his lips bright red. He looked around at the hallway and said, "I need — here, right here," and spun them around. As Finn's shoulder hit a control panel, he fell gracefully to his knees.

Finn didn't let his legs buckle, but it was a near thing. "Seriously?"

"Shut up," Kylo said, and unbuttoned Finn's pants.

It just felt surreal, was all, staring at the Falcon's nav system while Kylo pulled his dick out.

"Finn," Kylo breathed. He looked up at Finn like he was — everything, like Kylo'd never seen another person or wanted anything other than this, to kneel at Finn's feet and stroke his cock with careful reverence.

Finn couldn't think of a single thing to say, but it ended up not mattering. Kylo made the decision for both of them, taking Finn down his throat in one determined motion. He nearly choked — Finn felt him fluttering around his dick, and it was unbearable, it was too much, but then Kylo pulled back and sucked the tip, played with his balls, and it was back to just being painfully good again.

"Kylo — more, keep going, I love — oh, please, yes." Kylo's finger pressed against his hole and slipped in, just a bit — exploring, testing. He looked so good like this, bent double with his feet braced against the Falcon's deck. His hands shook a little against Finn's hips, and he took deep breaths as Finn fucked his mouth.

But Finn didn't want to come like this, so eventually he shoved at Kylo's shoulder. "Come on, let me — there has to be a bed in here somewhere."

"Several." Kylo leaned up just enough to grab Finn's hands, pulling him down to the floor. "Don't care." He kissed Finn, open-mouthed and filthy. "What do you like? I need to know. Tell me, please, anything."

"Beds. I like beds." But Kylo's hands had wandered back to Finn's ass again, and he had Finn in his lap, his thighs spread so wide he ached. He shook when Kylo pressed a finger against his hole again, arched his back and clutched Kylo's shoulders.

"Beautiful." Kylo sounded bewildered, almost insulted by it. "You're so beautiful. Do you want — what do you want? I'll do anything."

It was a dangerous offer for anyone to make, made much worse by the fact that Finn knew Kylo really would give Finn his life, if Finn asked for it. For a moment it was too much: he swayed forward, dropping his head against Kylo's shoulder, and tried to just breathe.

Kylo smoothed a hand down his spine, his finger chasing Finn's shivers. "I'm sorry."

"It's not you. It's just been — awhile."

Kylo went very still under him. "Right. Yes. Me too, obviously."

He sounded shiftier than a first year 'trooper who'd stolen a commander's holopad. "Kylo. You're okay?"

"I've had sex," Kylo blurted out, bright red.

Finn managed not to laugh or swallow his tongue, a historical pair of achievements. He kissed Kylo instead, again and again, until he didn't think they needed to talk anymore.

The next time Kylo touched him, he was staring up at Finn with wide eyes. Finn was still in his lap, and he thought he might stay there; Kylo certainly seemed to enjoy it, arching his back and thrusting his hips up whenever Finn shifted.

"Fuck me," Finn whispered into Kylo's ear.

"Anything you want," Kylo said again. "Finn. I need — you need to understand. Anything."

He felt Kylo reaching out clumsily with the Force, his desperation clear. And Finn, breath catching, suddenly did understand. Kylo really meant it; he really meant anything, he meant let me give you this. All his thoughts, his desires, centered around doing for Finn whatever Finn wanted done. He came when Finn wanted him to; he made Finn come when and how he asked for it.

Finn could barely breathe with how badly he wanted it. "Oh. Oh, wow."

Kylo lowered his head and waited.

And the funny thing was, Finn really did know what he wanted. He stroked Kylo's hair back, thumbed at his lower lip, and said, "Fuck me."

"Finn —"

"Anything I want. That's what you said. I want you to fuck me." Finn shifted on Kylo's lap to drive the point home, moving his hips just enough to communicate the idea of a rhythm. "I'll tell you what you need to do. But that's what I want."

"I know what to do," Kylo snapped. "I've read manuals!"

Finn didn't laugh: he kissed Kylo before he had a chance to, fucked him with his tongue as Kylo pulled both their shirts off.

They should've already found a bed, or a bunk or even a table: it was too late now. Finn had Kylo lounging against the wall, long and absolutely huge beneath him, and he wasn't moving.

Kylo's hand felt enormous splayed in Finn's back, but that was nothing compared to feeling him thrust against Finn with intent, his hands clenching on Finn's ass.

"Tell me," Kylo said. His voice had gone from cranky to breathy, desperate. "Please — tell me you want this."

Finn almost laughed, because of course he did; why else would he be here, all but begging Kylo to fuck him? But Kylo looked up at him with wide-eyed uncertainty, and it occurred to Finn that Kylo had always known the dreams were real, and had assumed Finn simply didn't want to face the truth.

"Of course I do," Finn said. "I always have. Look." He kissed Kylo again, tugged his hair. And — oh, Kylo gasped at that, moving his head back as his eyes fell closed.

Finn could work with it. "Here. I've got —" He fumbled in his pockets and produced the oil he'd swiped from the Falcon's bathroom to help Lyssa's skin heal. "Use this."

Kylo looked at the label and blanched. "Finn, this is —"

"Don't say it —"

"Wookiee beauty oil!"

"Just use it! It won't matter when it's inside me!"

"I changed my mind, I think I'd rather —" Kylo's voice broke off into a stutter when Finn dragged a thumb over his nipple. "Still disgusting."

"Just pretend you can't read." He leaned in and kissed Kylo's jaw, gently, pleadingly. "Please."

He thought Kylo might protest, but instead he just found himself hoisted in the air with the Force, stripped quickly and then pulled close again. He couldn't help but shake a little when Kylo pressed the first slick finger inside him, clearly doing what Finn was thinking about — what Finn wanted, and only that.

"Good, this is good." He sank down on two of Kylo's fingers, feeling the familiar stretch and ache, arousal slowly shimmering through him. "I've wanted this for so long."

"All you had to do was admit —"

"I didn't know they were real." Finn leaned in and kissed Kylo, bit his lower lip. "If I had —"

"You were in denial. I can't blame you."

"If I had, we'd have done this before I was captured." Finn knew Kylo was right, at least partially, but he needed to plant the image in his mind anyway: fucking in a dream, waking up next to each other and continuing it in reality. "I need this, I need you."

"You have me." Kylo's breath stuttered against Finn's neck as he slicked his own cock up, rubbing it against Finn's ass, not quite pressing inside. Finn ached everywhere, his legs, his jaw — around Kylo's fingers as he withdrew them. He couldn't help but moan in protest, moving his hips as though to chase Kylo's hand, even as Kylo said, "Finn, oh, Finn," and pressed inside him.

For a moment Finn thought it might be too much. He felt like he was splitting in two, and he cried out as Kylo braced his hands on Finn's hips, holding him still. "Kylo — move, wait, no, wait — move."

"Should I move or not?" Kylo sounded at least as wrecked as Finn, bright red and gasping. When Finn touched his neck, he felt the pulse fluttering there, small and startlingly human.

"Let me move," Finn said when he could breathe again. "Please —"

Kylo thrust once, hard, ripping the air out of Finn's chest. "Let me take care of you," he whispered as Finn moaned and began riding him. "Let me stay, let me — Finn, let me —"

"Yes," Finn said, and clenched around him. "Touch me."

Kylo's hand shook on his cock. Finn thrust into it, rocking his hips ungracefully, forward and back and always touching Kylo, held by him, surrounded.

He came moments before Kylo did, a cry torn from his throat and swallowed by Kylo's kiss. They slumped together afterwards, Kylo's forehead falling against Finn's shoulder, his fingers curled against Finn's back, head bowed like a supplicant before an altar.

Finn kissed him, and breathed, and stayed.