They've been sleeping together for a year now, and sometimes it freaks Jeff out. He knows Eric went into it hoping he could get Jeff to stay, but Jeff - Jeff really thought, even hoped, it would be a short-term thing. He's still only nineteen for the next two months, and he wasn't ready to settle down when he started this thing with Eric.

Now, though, he pretty much is, weird though that feels. Really, settling down - or not settling down - is hardly on Jeff's mind at all. His concern right now is a lot more embarrassing and private.

Namely, the fact that he's been getting off thinking about fucking Eric for weeks, and he doesn't know how to ask for it.

"Hey," Eric says when Jeff comes over to his place. Jeff's over most nights they're at home now. Tonight's special, though, because they have tomorrow off, so Jeff can stay. Jeff got Sutter to buy him a bottle of wine earlier for the occasion, and ignored the way Sutter looked at him.

The team's going to find out eventually. Jeff's just not going to say anything about it either way.

"Hey," Jeff says, coming in when Eric moves aside from him. "I brought wine, um, I hope it's good? I don't know anything about wine."

"Neither do I," Eric says. "Well, I know if you drink it with beer and tequila you'll puke orange."

"Appetizing," Jeff says, fighting nervousness. He's going to ask Eric tonight. He might get laughed at or shot down, but he's going to ask.

"Hey." Eric grabs the hand holding the wine, covering Jeff's hand with his own and kissing Jeff. "Go put this in the kitchen," Eric says, smiling down at him. "I already poured us glasses of the stuff I have."

"Cool," Jeff says, and makes his escape.

In the kitchen, he sticks the wine in the fridge and takes a deep breath. He can totally do this, and at no point in time is he going to blurt out, "I want to stick it in you," which is what Jillian suggested when Jeff accidentally spilled the beans to her a couple weeks ago. He's going to be a mature adult and - yeah, okay. He can do this.

When he gets out to the living room, Eric's sitting on the couch, with two glasses of wine on the coffee table. Eric holds out an arm and Jeff goes to sit with him, enjoying - the way he always does - the way Eric's arm settles over him, heavy and comfortable. Eric's always been touchy, and it's nice; Jeff likes it. Even if it might be easier to ask what he's going to ask if he couldn't smell Eric, and if he wasn't close enough to just lean up and kiss.

Eric does kiss him then, actually, nudging Jeff's face up and kissing him slowly. When they pull apart, Eric says, "I hope you don't mind if I have plans for tonight."

"Oh," Jeff says. "Actually, I, um." This is an opening. Jeff needs to take it.

Or he could lean forward and gulp down his entire large glass of wine.

"Jeff?" Now Eric sounds worried. "Are things okay?"

"Um," Jeff says. "Yeah, totally. I just. I." Stop being a wimp, he tells himself. "I had something to ask?"

"Okay," Eric says slowly. He leans away and turns so he's facing Jeff. "Shoot."

Jeff wishes he had an entire bottle of wine. Or vodka. Or maybe a tranquilizer. He closes his eyes briefly, then opens them again.

Eric looks worried. Shit, Jeff thinks guiltily. "We've, um." He swallows. "We've had a lot of sex."

That makes Eric just barely smile. "Yeah."

"I like it," Jeff says. "I was just thinking, maybe…"

Eric reaches out and touches Jeff's shoulder. "Whatever you want," he says. "We can talk about it."

"I want to fuck you," Jeff blurts out in a rush.

As soon as it's out he wants to clap his hands over his mouth and take them back. But Eric just stares at him for a second, blinking, before he starts laughing.

"…hey," Jeff says after a minute, when Eric's leaned so far back he's almost falling off the couch.

"Sorry!" Eric does one of those stupid things with his mouth he always does, then says, "I just - I thought it was something awful. I don't know what I thought. But not that."

Jeff's so red he's a little worried he's going to burst into flames. "So it would be okay?"

Eric tilts his head a little and looks at Jeff. And looks at him, and keeps looking at him. Jeff's about to squirm uncomfortably when Eric says, in an entirely serious voice, "Better than okay."

Right then. "More wine?" Jeff says, standing up.

Eric nods and finishes off what's left of his before handing Jeff his glass. "I hope you weren't holding out for something fancy," he adds. "I made a chicken salad for dinner."

"Sounds good," Jeff says. "Should I get us bowls?"

"Let me help." Eric gets up and follows Jeff into the kitchen.

After they've eaten, Jeff clears stuff up. Then they're back in the kitchen, both of them on their third glasses of wine, even though Jeff wishes he'd had more. It's quiet, and Eric's just sipping his wine, and Jeff pretty much wants to die.

Eric, though, says, "So," setting his wine on the coffee table and turning to Jeff.

"So," Jeff says.

Eric smiles a little, the kind of smile he gets when Jeff's begging Eric to let him come. It makes Jeff catch his breath as Eric pulls him in for a kiss.

Eric loves doing the kind of shit Jeff honestly figured he would've grown out of, like making out on the couch. He lies down and pulls Jeff on top of him, spreading a hand on the small of Jeff's back and holding onto the back of his head. He's kissing with a purpose, slow and deep, the kind of kissing he does when he's trying to wind Jeff up.

And, yeah, it's working. Jeff kisses back, more and more intensely until finally he says, "Okay, Eric, we should - let's go upstairs."

Eric pulls back and looks down at him. "Yeah," he says. "Let's." He stands up and pulls Jeff up, all but dragging him upstairs.

It's normal, good and what usually happens between them, until Eric lies down, pulls Jeff on top of him, and spreads his legs.

When Jeff pulls back and just kind of stares, Eric smiles crookedly and says, "I guess I should take my pants off first, huh?", and then, while Jeff's watching, arches his back and strips them off.

"Right," Jeff says stupidly. "Right. I'll just -" He stands up and undresses quickly, fingers fumbling.

When they're naked, Eric pulls Jeff down firmly onto him, grinding their hips together. "I like fingering, by the way," Eric says.

Normally he'd talk around it, but right now he's smiling like he's excited about something, like he's getting something he really wants. It makes Jeff blush hard and duck down to kiss Eric's neck.

"Hand me the lube?" he says, voice not shaking at all, which he's maybe a little too proud of. Eric passes it over wordlessly, and then Jeff's jerking Eric off slowly as he slips a finger inside Eric.

He's tight - of course he is. They haven't done this, and they've been exclusive for a year. He's also enthusiastic, moving with Jeff, fucking himself back on Jeff's finger when Jeff doesn't move quickly enough for him. Jeff's breathing kind of irregularly, watching himself fuck Eric, and it's even better when he adds a finger and Eric moans, reaching down to tighten Jeff's grip on his dick and saying, "Harder - just, more, please."

Jeff's happy to give it to him. Honestly, he'd probably give Eric whatever he wants right now. He fucks Eric hard, leaning into it and watching the way Eric bites his lip and stares up at the ceiling.

Then Eric says in a low, hoarse voice, "Okay, that's good, I'm ready," and Jeff has to close his eyes against how turned on he feels.

He puts the condom on and slicks himself up, mundane movements he's done before, just not…in awhile. Then he's pushing into Eric, and, yeah, he's never done this before. He's never done anything close to this before, not with how he feels about Eric and how into it Eric is.

Eric pulls him down and practically bends himself in two to kiss Jeff, which is hotter than it should be. Jeff kisses back, but then breaks away so he can thrust. He's digging his fingers into Eric's hips, and Eric's meeting him, matching his movements in a way that feels even more perfect than Jeff hoped it might. He moans and says, "Eric, I can't -"

"Give me just a minute," Eric says ruefully. He's jerking himself off, which - Jeff blinks and shakes his head.

"Let me," he says, reaching down and jerking Eric off in time with his thrusts. It's kind of awkward, but it's also stupidly hot, so much that Jeff's surprised when Eric's the one who comes first.

"Oh, fuck," he says, gasping. "Jeff, keep going, just - come on, I want you to."

There's no way Jeff can say not to that. He fucks Eric as hard as he wants, until he's coming so hard he completely loses track of everything for a minute.

When he comes to, Eric's grinning up at him. "Hey," he says, stroking a hand up and down Jeff's arm.

"Hi," Jeff says, feeling stupid. "Um." He pulls out as carefully as he can, tying off the condom and dropping it in the trash.

Eric holds out an arm. "I can deal with being gross for a minute," he says, so Jeff snuggles up next to him, letting Eric pet his hair.

"So," Eric says a minute later, in the dorky tone that means he's about to make a really, really bad joke, "how'd you like that jelly?"

"Oh God," Jeff says. He starts laughing, and then can't stop, because Eric's grinning like he's so proud of himself, and Jeff -

Jeff really, really loves this.

"That was awful," he says, still smiling.

"Probably," Eric says. "We should do this again."

"Yeah." Jeff puts his head on Eric's shoulder. "We definitely should."