Things are weird. The universe makes them weirder. Amy and John get a little stuck.
His secrets were collateral. They were a contract, a promise that he would not go back on his word. Her flesh, his soul: when she knew things that not even the King knew, things that could ruin him, they became equal.
A mutant with the power to make reality as she wills it curses Cable & Deadpool to be stuck together. Literally. Ten feet apart, at all times.
Pining and scatological humor result.