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Notes

this is adapted from a c0mm thread! hope y'all enjoy jiussy!

update: this title comes from this song and the definition of the word is:
a state of agony and torment created by the sudden sight of one's own misery


Imported from Archive of Our Own. Original work id: 46474195.



Luo Binghe wakes to the smell of perfume so sickeningly sweet his throat threatens to close up. 

 

He springs up in bed, immediately knowing somehow that he isn’t with Shen Qingqiu. It’s dark wherever he is, and once his eyes adjust, he bites his tongue so hard he tastes blood.

 

Women. Naked women. 

 

All piled around where he lay just before. What’s more, he’s not in the bamboo house or anywhere near Qing Jing Peak. In fact, if he didn’t know any better, he’d say he’s in the demon realm. 

 

“Where’s Shizun?” He can’t help but ask aloud, hoping that just by saying his name he’ll appear and explain what the hell is going on. 

 

One of the many women stirs, rubbing at her eyes before blinking them open to look at him. Luo Binghe immediately shuts his eyes. 

 

He knows that face, but he’s never seen her in such a state (nor has he ever wanted to), but now the image of her perky, milky tits won’t leave his mind. 

 

I wonder what Shizun would look like if he– Luo Binghe slaps his cheeks to stop his train of thought. /Right now your priority is to find Shizun!/

 

When he finally finds Shen Qingqiu, it’s far down a dank and dark hallway. He only notices the small opening because there’s a small whimper. Luo Binghe’s often heard these whimpers in his ear or above him when he and Shen Qingqiu…

 

Shizun is enjoying himself without me! Luo Binghe rushes toward the sounds and when he finally lays eyes on Shen Qingqiu, his stomach twists and his mouth tastes of blood. 

 

Shen Qingqiu is strung up by ropes. One of his legs is missing and the opposing arm is also missing. The stumps are crude and Luo Binghe’s sure at least one of the wounds is infected. 

 

“Shiz…un?” Luo Binghe’s chest hurts so bad that he can’t take a step toward Shen Qingqiu for a few moments. When he finally has ahold of himself, he approaches Shen Qingqiu. 

 

Shen Qingqiu notices him right away and rather than offer that small familiar smile, there’s a snarl mixed with a fearful gaze. Shen Qingqiu opens his mouth as if to shout something, but only garbled sounds come out because he has no tongue. 

 

“Who did this to you?” Luo Binghe demands angrily, his forehead growing hot. 

 

If possible, Shen Qingqiu’s glare grows colder. Luo Binghe chooses to ignore it in favor for untying Shen Qingqiu. He catches his body before it can fall even though Shen Qingqiu’s remaining arm beats at his chest. 

 

“Poor Shizun, in such a condition; the disciple will take care of you.”

 

Luo Binghe lays Shen Qingqiu down gently and starts to check for more injuries, ignoring the sounds of protest. Though it was the worst time of his life, Luo Binghe’s thankful for the knowledge he has on healing due to Shen Qingqiu self-detonating. 

 

In no time, Shen Qingqiu has new limbs and a small tongue. It’s only after all this has been done that Shen Qingqiu finally speaks his first words to Luo Binghe. 

 

“Get away from me, you wretched beast!”

 

Luo Binghe’s chest pangs for a different reason as Shen Qingqiu glowers at him, trying to move out of his range of reach. 

 

“Why is Shizun being so cold to this disciple?” Luo Binghe asks desperately, feeling confusion and anger in his mind. 

 

Shen Qingqiu looks at him as if he’s grown several heads. His eyes narrow into slants, a look on his face Luo Binghe hasn’t seen since his early days as a disciple. Back when Shen Qinqiu…

 

Is this… Luo Binghe’s anger evaporates as he realizes while this is Shen Qingqiu, it’s not his Shen Qingqiu. And therefore there must be another Luo Binghe that’s done this to /this/ Shen Qingqiu.

 

“I promise you that this disciple is not the one you are used to,” Luo Binghe says, ignoring the scoff Shen Qingqiu lets out in response. “And I’ll prove it.”

 

To be honest, despite the shape this Shen Qingqiu’s in, Luo Binghe still feels…a stirring in his lower belly. He finds himself wanting to show this Shen Qingqiu another side of “himself;” maybe it’ll help solve the obvious tension between them. 

 

Luo Binghe lowers himself until his face hovers over Shen Qingqiu’s clothed lower half. He makes quick work of opening his robes because Shen Qingqiu only has one hand to stop him. However, once Shen Qingqiu is bare beneath him, Luo Binghe’s confused. 

 

Rather than see the cute little cock he’s used to, there’s something else inside. There are two fat folds that are slightly pink that cushion a nub an inch or two long. There’s a small hole a little lower from the nub. 

 

Even though Luo Binghe’s never seen pussy before, he finds himself licking his lips at the anticipation of tasting this Shen Qingqiu.

 

He licks a curious stripe from the small hole to the nub and feels Shen Qingqiu’s body freeze up before melting all at once. Luo Binghe does it again, this time a little harder. Shen Qingqiu squirms under him. 

 

Curious about the little nub and how it’s gotten stiffer with his licks, Luo Binghe pokes it with his tongue. 

 

Ah!” Shen Qingqiu moans, still squirming like he’s trying to get away from Luo Binghe. 

 

Luo Binghe uses an arm to hold Shen Qingqiu’s waist down as he suckles at the hardening nub. 

 

Slick gushes out from the small hole and Luo Binghe hums at the taste. He may be a different Shizun, but he still tastes the same.


Notes

let me know your thoughts in the comments~!

~A