Rey wasn't sure what to expect from Mara's ship. She'd devoured every schematic she could find when she was a scavenger, and had always dreamed of ships whose pilots matched them, in temperament and construction. But imagining Mara's ship was hardly an easy proposition; she wasn't just trying to picture some Resistance fighter's ship. She'd be trying to guess what kind of ship, and personality, her mother had.

Some private part of her could admit that she hoped it was good, though. Slick. Powerful. She wanted Mara to understand ships the way she did; she wanted to feel like she'd gotten something from her.

But even with those hopes, she hadn't quite imagined the Jade Shadow.

It loomed in the hangar, rounded and conspicuously large, perfectly clean but so matte it looked dusty. "That's a luxury cruiser," she said. "What in the world?"

"Don't judge a book by its cover," Poe said from behind her. She turned. He stood with BB-8, carrying a small pack, looking up at the Jade Shadow with clear admiration.

She said the first thing that occurred to her: "Where's Finn?"

A mistake. He quirked his eyebrows at her, then said, "He went to his room to get his things."

He was all but daring her to say something about them. Why? She pressed her lips together, then said, "It'll be close quarters, I imagine?"

"On that thing? No way." He smiled at her. "But you're always welcome to hang out with us. Finn says he gets tired of all the talk of the Force."

She didn't know what to say, or do, or think. His smile alone was more compelling than she wanted his entire - everything - to be. So instead of responding in kind, she turned and half-ran towards the ship.

Mara greeted her as soon as she got on. "Welcome aboard."

Rey surveyed the hangar. It was surprisingly spare for a luxury cruiser, and - "Is that a droid station?"

"Yes," Mara said. "You didn't think I'd outfitted my ship so everyone could sip tihaar and watch dancing girls, did you?"

"I - didn't know," Rey said, even though she'd expected that as soon as she saw the ship. "How much have you modified it?"

"Enough to get us where we need to go." Mara's expression softened, as though she'd just remembered Rey was her daughter. "I hope you like it. Luke tells me you're quite the expert in ship mechanics; feel free to make suggestions. I'm sure there's room for improvement."

She was trying. That much was obvious. But Rey wanted to snap back anyway. Her open generosity and calm was nothing like Han's annoyed accommodation had been, and the contrast tore at her.

"Sure," she said, and brushed past her, into the belly of the ship.

They hadn't been assigned rooms, so Rey picked one based on its proximity to the control room. Mara wouldn't need to man the pilot's seat unless they ran into unexpected trouble - though it seemed to Rey that they ought to be expecting trouble on this particular trip. Still, she wanted to be close to the action. She was feeling very satisfied with her choice when she left the bunk to explore, until she nearly tripped over Finn and Poe arranging themselves in the two cabins next to hers.

Finn looked at her and said, "You know, I have a - thing to check, shoes. Thing," letting the door slide closed behind him and leaving her alone in the hallway with Poe.

"Looks like she gutted the accommodations for technical enhancements," Poe said. He quirked his eyebrows at her. "Unless you just sniped the biggest room."

She told herself to sound normal. "If I'd gotten a big room, I'd give it to you two to share," she said coldly.

Not a success.

Poe bit his lip, his eyes dropping. "A room that can hold two usually works for three."

He was smiling. He couldn't be serious, of course. Not in the way Rey wanted him to be. He and Finn were practically ready for a wedding. But Rey took a step back all the same, heart thudding in her chest, warmth spreading through her. The way he looked just reminded her of having him between her thighs, feeling him inside of her. Would he look like that if he watched her and Finn?

It was a stupid thought. She looked away. "You've clearly not been inside many ships. If you can squish two into a berth, three would result in suffocation."

"You ever tried it?"

Rey opened her mouth to protest - or something; she hadn't worked out the details yet. Fortunately, the ship cut her off, an automated voice saying, "All crew please report to the observation deck."

"I've got to go," she said, and took off before Poe could offer to walk with her.

On the observation deck, Mara went over the basics of their mission and what responsibilities they'd all share. There weren't very many of them. It didn't sound like a suicide mission, exactly, but Rey was well aware that everyone's attention would be sunk into watching her, trying to control her, and otherwise dodging her potential deadliness via evil influence. It wasn't a particularly comfortable feeling.

Too, there was no one to talk to about it, really; Luke, Mara, and Leia were all out by virtue of being related to her, and the idea of trying to open up to Poe or Finn like that gave her hives. She didn't think Chewie would give appropriate advice, either. So she suffered in silence.

Or at least, she thought she did. As the ship cycled into artificial night, and she sat alone on a scrap of stairway overlooking the observation deck, BB-8 rolled up to her and asked about her health.

"You don't need to worry," she told it.

That was a mistake. BB-8 immediately ran a health scan, then bumped against her, telling her that Poe would be able to help.

"Thank you, but I'm okay, really," she said. She didn't add that Poe, for all his myriad robot-focused charms, wasn't a doctor or a - whatever kind of help Rey needed.

BB-8 told her that Poe hugged it sometimes when he was feeling down. The image, absurd as it was, at least made her smile. And when BB-8 nudged her, she leaned over and patted its chassis.

Then, satisfied with a job well done, it rolled away. And she was alone again.

Sure. No need to worry.

Even when feeling profoundly self-pitying, she eventually had to sleep. She imagined as she lay down that she could feel Finn and Poe's presences, mere inches away. It was only imagining, though, the wistful dreaming of a lonely person. She was familiar enough with that kind of thing.

In the silence of space, she dreamed.

First she dreamed of hands. Warm, big hands, stroking her neck and shoulders, traveling down her sides, touching her breasts. Hands on her thighs, sending sparks of sensation to her core. Hands nudging her knees aside, skimming over her hips, pressing into her cunt. She felt a muted kind of joy, a catch in her throat and a flutter in her heart.

Then the hands gained owners: Finn, curled around her from behind, caressing her breasts. Poe, kneeling in front of her, his tongue tracing paths his fingers had created. And the warmth just built, in her and around them. She felt Finn smile against her neck, and watched Poe laugh when a curl of his fingers made her jerk and almost cry out.

She felt so warm. So comfortable, too, and safe. Finn turned her head just enough to kiss, and Poe licked her clit, pressing into her with a steady power that made her gasp. "Please," she whispered.

But speech broke the spell. She woke with her heart pounding, gasping for air, every nerve on fire.

Of course she was alone. Mara's ship tactfully kept the lights off; the AI wasn't nearly as jumpy as on a Resistance ship. She screwed her eyes shut and fought to bring her breathing back to normal, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.

She could fix the problem, part of it anyway. She could reach between her own legs. But that wouldn't fully satisfy her, and she couldn't fool herself into thinking otherwise.

Eventually, she managed to sleep again. She had a nightmare or two, the mundane sort about starving on Jakku or being taken and sold to some other, worse planet. Waking up from those, with the ship's gentle light announcing the end of her sleep cycle, felt comparatively like relief.

They were staying sub-light-speed until they got a decent read on where Snoke might be, so they hadn't actually traveled very far when Rey woke up. She joined the others in the ship's kitchen, sipping caf and enjoying some of their soon-to-be-gone supply of fresh meat and vegetables. She'd only been sitting for fifteen minutes or so when Mara came and sat across from her, ignoring Rey congenially as she built her own plate of food. Rey couldn't help but steal glances at Mara as they ate; she'd dreamed of her mother so many times that the reality seemed wholly fabricated.

If Mara noticed the curious looks, she gave no sign. Rey longed for that kind of calm indifference. Her heart felt like it was racing.

Finn sat down next to her when he entered the kitchen. "Sleep well?"

"Fine. You?"

"Better than normal." He smiled, though he avoided her eyes. "I'm still more used to sleeping in space than on the ground."

"I assume you enjoy having your own room."

His smile didn't disappear, but it did, maybe, get a little tenser, his skin tightening around his eyes. "I'm sorry," Rey said immediately.

"No, no, it's fine." He was silent for a moment before saying, "I don't know if I enjoy it. It can be lonely."

She tried to imagine that. He wasn't alone, after all; the ship was close to uncomfortably full. And he had friends here. But a room made him lonely? "I see."

"We're - they're - it's not like being family, when you're a stormtrooper." He took a bite of bread, chewing very slowly before elaborating. "A lot of us remember our families, for starters, at least a little bit. But it's better than nothing, you know? You get - bonds, I guess. Not quite like friends. You get used to having people around all the time."

She nodded and took a sip of her drink. The same horrible painful wanting had returned, spreading through her. If Finn spent his entire day telling her about his life, about what he thought and felt and how it affected him - she'd enjoy it, she thought.

Of course, that presupposed a different world, where - among other things - she didn't spend half her time furiously jealous of Finn and Poe. So it probably didn't matter either way.

"I hope we can stop the First Order," she said. "Maybe then..."

Finn didn't mock the supposition - maybe then things would be better, she'd been about to say. Maybe then he could meet his squadron on even terms. But he didn't agree, either. He just smiled a little, wistfully, and picked up his sandwich.

That day, Rey had the dubious privilege of spending most of her time on the observation deck with all of the others, trying to pretend that this particular mission wasn't fraught with both danger and social awkwardness. She tried to focus on other things - the ship, meditation, even Luke's instructions to look for Snoke - but her eyes kept returning to Finn, or Poe, or both of them.

Poe followed Leia around like a new recruit might. He clearly worshiped the ground she walked on, and she treated him with a kind of detached amusement that told Rey Poe'd been acting this way for a long time. Of course, Poe loved charming people, and so he also curried favor with Mara, showing off his knowledge of various star systems as they plotted out the beginning of a course. Finn was a bit more reserved, sitting back and talking with Luke, but he'd look at Poe with pride in his expression, and Rey felt her stomach clench every time.

She was happy for him, she told herself. It was profoundly unconvincing. Memories sneaked through her mind, of Finn's soft lips and Poe's warm skin. It was remarkable to discover she wasn't particularly generous.

Eventually, things had to change - and they did. Late in the day, close to the crew's sleep shift, BB-8 found Rey in a storage room. It beeped inquisitively, and when she said, "I'm fine," told her that the General wanted her on the observation deck.

She followed it back. Leia and Luke stood waiting; Mara was nowhere to be seen. When Rey asked about her, Leia said, "She didn't want to be present for what we're about to do."

"Mara's been tempted by the dark side," Luke added in a low voice.

It was on the tip of Rey's tongue to ask what had happened - if that was why they'd separated. But then the context took on a scarier meaning. "You want me to find Snoke."

"We're as far as Liren's direction takes us," Leia said. "We'll do our best to keep you safe, but it is imperative that we find Snoke."

"And destroy him?" Rey found herself asking.

Leia nodded, eyes hard. This was her aunt, Rey thought, willing to put Rey in danger to save the Republic. Rey had often dreamed of being a hero. Her own resolve wasn't weak. But she couldn't imagine being a general, spending her whole life fighting, and all that implied.

"I'll do it," she said.

She sat in the pilot's chair. The world hummed around her: the ship, yes, but also the Force, inside with them and out in the blackness of space. It never really went away, even in the vacuum. A place fundamentally hostile to humans still nurtured the power of the universe. The Force, she knew, wasn't hers, and didn't exist for anyone or anything but itself.

But she could manipulate it, and tonight, she would.

But she knew trying it alone would be dangerous. "What about Finn?"

"We're a hive of Force sensitives," Leia said, more than a little drily. "We didn't call Finn because we weren't sure he'd contribute to your stability."

They weren't wrong, yet she still snapped, "Please tell him to come. Snoke almost killed me last time. I need help."

"I've already called him," Luke said. He kept his voice steady, as always, persuasive in its calm.

Finn arrived moments later, with Poe right on his heels. His face fell when he saw Rey. "Now?" he said to Luke.

Luke nodded.

Finn's jaw tightened. Poe's hand, which had been on his elbow, moved just a tad, curling around the bones there. Rey didn't understand why he was angry - or determined, or whatever he was - until Finn looked Luke dead in the eye and said, "This had better be safe for her."

It was touching. But - "I'm sitting right here," Rey said.

Poe snorted.

"And I'll be fine!" Probably, anyway. Maybe.

"Of course you will," Finn said. "Because we're going to help you." He walked over and sat down across from her, taking her hands.

"Any instructions?" Rey asked, glancing to Luke. She told the sandstorm in her stomach to calm down. She had enough going on without noting how soft Finn's skin was, or how much better she felt just having him sitting near her, and Poe standing behind her.

"You know how he feels," Luke said. "Everyone's power, everyone's mind, has a shape. He's strong in the Force, but so are you. Anything you can get us helps."

"But what you need is a direction. A location."

"We can try again. It took Liren days." Luke closed his eyes briefly, a look of pain appearing for just a second. "But the more information, the better."

"This son of a bitch," Poe said.

Somehow, the profanity made Rey feel a little better. "He is." She leaned back into the chair. "I'm going to find him," she told Luke, and shut her eyes.

She began by letting her senses expand to feel the room. The ship hummed around them, not quite alive, but not inert, either. The Force didn't differentiate between mechanical and biological the way they did; it ran through the crystals at the heart of Mara's ship, and it flowed through BB-8's circuits as surely as it did through Poe's breath. They were all of them unique, but they all carried the Force.

Slowly, she expanded.

The dark was everywhere, as was the light. If she looked too closely, she'd drive herself mad. Examining the infinite wasn't her idea of a good time, so she searched for Snoke, reaching past both emptiness and life, hunting for anything that might feel like his presence had in her mind.

When she found it, she nearly cried out. It wasn't a person. It wasn't even a crystal. It was a tiny speck of dust, anchored to the edge of an asteroid belt that Mara's ship was skirting.

But it felt like him. And then she saw another speck, connected not through space, but through the Force itself - and another, and another. Her mind was gone now, following the trail even though she knew it wasn't wise. Snoke was dangerous, his methods arcane and possibly deadly, but -

Skywalker.

She went spinning.

The feeling of being pulled into one of Snoke's dreamscapes hadn't changed, but she was more capable of keeping her head now. His world held a subtle control, pressing in on her and trying to shape her even as she resisted it.

You little fool, the voice chuckled. Why do you think you'll be able to resist? You, of all the Force users in the universe? You alone among Skywalkers?

She didn't want to be called that. She'd only seen Vader on holovids, yet his image flashed in her mind: a monster, more or less. She knew he'd been a person once. The Resistance's intel was very defensively clear on that point. But he'd killed and hurt thousands of people, lost to the Dark.

He was weak, Snoke hissed. Pathetic. He never freed himself from the Jedi way.

But of course, Snoke didn't mean to free her, either.

I can give you something better, little Skywalker. I can give you power.

Power alone wouldn't convince her. He had to know that, since he'd tried it before. She'd never wanted power, not really; her desires had been centered around family. A home. Not power.

The voice snickered, like rapid stings from a scorpion's tail. Let me show you yourself.

She didn't want it, but here, in this between-world, Snoke's will ruled. And so she saw the desert winds of Jakku and, nearly lost among the sand, a small figure.

She tried to stay impassive as her younger self cried. She knew the rhythm of those sobs, the kind that wracked your entire chest, making you rock back and forth in a futile attempt to contain them. Her wails were thin and so childish. Pathetic, she tried to think.

It didn't work. As she watched herself, her heart slowly broke.

What was this meant to teach her? She'd cried, yes. Children often did. And she could admit, even with Snoke trying to steal her mind, that she'd cried more than many. But that was because she'd been abandoned, and had known her share of hardship. Now she was on a ship with her parents and an aunt, and - friends. She had everything that she'd dreamed of.

Another laugh. Keep watching.

It wasn't like she could look away. She was a captive audience as her tiny self stood and, hands in fists, lifted her face to the sky and screamed.

Slowly, the sand rose.

She saw Plutt too late. The cyclone of sand emanating from her younger self had become impossibly tall and furious, and now it enveloped him and tore him apart.

Even in the between-world, she flinched. The vision faded. It wasn't a memory, or at least, the last bit wasn't. So there was no point in seeing it. She didn't need to kill Plutt, because she was free.

Ah, so you think you'll never encounter hardship again?

That wasn't the point. She couldn't control the future.

There are others, Skywalker. And the would-be Republic does nothing.

The Republic had their reasons, Rey knew. The forced-labor pocket on Jakku didn't cover the entire planet, but the Republic's resources had been stretched thin even before the Resistance broke from the Republic, even before the First Order got their compulsion over the Senate. There were reasons. Political reasons, reasons that Rey knew brought fire to Leia's eyes and sadness to Luke's.

There were reasons. But still, she felt a spark of rage, thinking of another child like herself alone among the skeleton ships.

No. The First Order hurt children, too; they'd stolen Finn. She had to remember that. She gritted her teeth and fought against the pressure she could suddenly feel, stronger and more poisonous than before.

Ah, said the voice. That's what you want, then?

Finn and Poe appeared in her vision.

No. No! She began to struggle, even as Finn smiled at Poe, and Poe looked deeply into Finn's eyes, and they leaned in to kiss one another.

She couldn't force that. She couldn't, she wouldn't...

The malicious voice faded, just for a moment. She became distantly aware of Finn's hands clutching hers, and also of Poe behind her, holding her up with solid fingers splayed against the small of her back.

Come back to me.

Another voice clashed with Snoke's. "Rey," this voice said, saturated with care and urgency. "Rey, come back."

You'll stay with me. I'll give you all the power you need. Everything you want.

"Rey." A brush of soft lips against her hands. "We have what we need."

Yes.

She came to with a gasp. She saw Finn's eyes first, as warm and concerned as his voice had been. Then she felt Poe's hand, firm between her shoulder-blades, bracing her as she shook.

There'd be time to try and remember those feelings later. Right now, she turned to Luke and said, "Did you get it?"

He nodded, his expression impossible to read. "We're not sure how he's doing it."

"But we can find him?"

"We will find him," Leia said. Her restrained fury was obvious even to Rey. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." At everyone's skeptical looks, she said, "I'll be fine. I just - I'm tired."

"We can take you back," Poe said. "Mara's got the ship well in hand. We can hit light speed now."

No. No, no, no. Any second now she was going to object. She'd open her mouth and express a desire to be alone. It would be easy. Simple. She said, "Okay."

Traitorous mind.

She couldn't take it back, though. Leia said, "We'll debrief you in the morning, but it should be pretty straightforward," and then Finn and Poe were ushering her out, both of them angling their bodies so that they shielded her from any other potential examination. She should have been touched. She might have been, even, if it hadn't all been overlaid with a horrible fear.

They only dropped her off at her room. She lay in bed, fearing the loneliness she was sure would creep over her; she fell asleep too quickly to really feel it. Her debriefing the next morning passed in a blur of Leia's attempted kindness and Mara's restrained anger, and then she could hide again.

Luke found her, as she'd been half expecting. He sat across from her on the wrought metal platform overlooking the docking bay. He'd taken off his robe, for once, replacing it with a rough-cloth gray tunic and pants that Rey couldn't help but notice resembled her own clothes.

"We didn't want to risk you," Luke said.

Right. "If this is an apology, there's no need." She did her best to keep her voice level. She could feel the urge to be cruel living in her; Snoke apparently didn't think he needed to hide his still-weak hold on her this time. "This fight is bigger than all of us. I know that."

"You're still human." Luke shrugged. "And it's still hard."

She had no good answer to that. Part of her desperately wanted to confide in him, the father she'd only just found. But most of her recognized just how foolhardy that would be. He might be her father - oh, fine, he was her father. But first and foremost, he was a Jedi.

"I just want it to be over," she said finally. Even if, she added to herself, she couldn't imagine what life would be like when it was.

"It will be. We'll see to that." Luke cleared his throat. "I actually came up here for something else, though."

Rey raised her eyebrows.

"If we're going to an actual physical location, Snoke will have reinforcements. There will be fighting."

"I can fight." Rey felt herself prickle. If Luke tried to keep her out of things, after all she'd fought to do -

"Of course," Luke said. "I know. Trust me, I know. I was going to say, if there's fighting, you'll need a weapon."

It was on the tip of her tongue to point out that she had a blaster, thanks, and she was very good with it besides. Then she realized what he was trying to say. "My saber? Now?"

"Not quite," Luke said. "We don't have time. It's not ideal - but Mara has an old saber. You'll be better attuned to it than a training one. And we have the tools for you to begin to build your own."

'Not ideal' was one way to put it; 'dangerous and reckless, given the circumstances' might have been more accurate. "Can I do that, with Snoke's hold? It was too dangerous before."

"It's risky. But it's better than going in without one. A saber will help stabilize you - it'll help you resist his hold. And beginning the process to build your own will give you something to look forward to, as well."

She got the feeling there was a lot he was holding back. It wouldn't be enough to change her decision, though. "I'll use it."

"Mara thought you'd say that. She brought the supplies we'll need; we can start today."

She smiled past the vaguely sick feeling in her stomach. "Can't wait."

Apparently, though, 'starting' mostly meant another very long lecture on the properties and rules around Force crystals, as though she might have forgotten since the first time they tried to do this. They were delicate, Luke told her, and not to be trifled with. She didn't bother pointing out that surely planning to meditate on one while flying towards the worst Dark user in the galaxies counted as 'trifling'. She did her best to listen, and then, when Luke handed her a crystal and left her alone, to meditate.

She finished the day profoundly uncertain regarding whether or not she'd succeeded. She didn't tell Luke that, though; he'd only tell her there was a lesson to be learned there.

It didn't occur to her, as she walked down the ship's halls towards her room, that she hadn't seen Finn and Poe all day. Moreover, it didn't occur to her to wonder about that - to worry, or to think something might be wrong. After a day spent focused on her work, she felt more in control of herself than she had in months, and more than ready to let everyone else's concerns fall to mere background noise.

So of course she rounded a corner and saw them kissing in the hallway, hard and desperate, hands all over each other.

She froze. They made a horribly perfect picture. Poe had Finn against the wall, his shirt pushed up above his hips, exposing a flat stomach that Finn caressed as he kissed Poe. One of Poe's legs pressed between Finn's thighs, and as Rey watched in helpless fascination, Finn threw his head back and moaned.

Right there! In the hallway!

She must have made a noise, though she didn't remember doing so. Finn and Poe froze at the same time, turning to look at her.

"Rey," Poe said.

He was clearly trying to sound normal. The way his breath came in little gasps through bright red lips put the lie to that.

She didn't say anything. She'd have liked to, but her throat felt completely frozen.

"You should go," Finn told Poe in an undertone. A look passed between them, charged with something Rey couldn't decipher. Then Poe peeled himself away from Finn and sauntered off, seemingly unaffected.

Rey couldn't pretend. "You could at least do that somewhere with a door!"

"Rey." Finn shook his head, then took a step forward. "It's not what it looks like."

"You were humping in a corridor."

Finn winced. "Maybe it's a little what it looks like. But -"

Rey stepped away. "It's fine. You're both adults, you can do whatever you like." Even to her own ears, she sounded profoundly unconvincing.

"Poe told me he wants you. More, after what happened when I was away," Finn said.

For a moment, the world stopped.

"I'm not mad," he added. He didn't look it, either. He looked hopeful, which Rey didn't understand at all. "I just wish we could've talked about it earlier."

So that the air could be clear between them all, Rey thought with no small amount of bitterness. So that Finn and Poe could embark on their beautiful relationship without having to even think about others.

"I wish I could've been there, too," Finn said.

He - what? He couldn't mean what she imagined. Could he? "So you could stop us," Rey said.

Finn shook his head. He looked so open just then, chagrined and embarrassed, but determined all the same. "So I could've joined in."

It was a searing image, and it immediately took up residence in the darkest part of her mind. What would Finn have done? He'd be desperate, she thought. She could have pulled him on top of her, had him fuck her hard and fast, and he'd gasp and whisper her name even as Poe worked him open from behind, dropping his head when the feeling got too much, whispering endearments and -

No. "Stop," she said. "That's not what you want."

Finn made a frustrated noise. "Maybe it's not what you want - and you know, that's fine, of course it's fine. But Rey, it is what I want. What both of us want. We've been trying to tell you."

He seemed sincere, but of course he was wrong. Guilt was a powerful motivator, she reminded herself. So, too, was his own upbringing - one of communal lives and sharing everything, because he'd had no other choices. It was nice of him to say such a thing. Of course it was. But Rey knew that, given the opportunity to think about it, he'd want Poe all for himself. He couldn't possibly feel anything like the horrible, empty desperation she did. She wanted to grab them both and hold them tight, to drink in their focus and attention until her fear and loneliness finally faded. If he'd felt the same way, he wouldn't be looking at her with such calm. He was kind; he was just also indifferent, even if he didn't know it.

So she told herself as she took one step back, then another. Finn's expression barely faltered, proving her supposition true.

"Thank you," she said. "But I wouldn't make you do that."

She watched him frown in dismay. He opened his mouth -

And Rey ran away.

She'd be embarrassed later, probably. Right then she had more energy than ever, powered by sheer relief. Mara's ship was still new to her, but she'd explored yacht class ships before. She found a storeroom on the far end, away from the observation deck and sleeping quarters. It was full of freeze dried product and boxes of what Rey strongly suspected were smuggled goods, but there was more than enough room for one person to sit and put her head in her arms.

How had things gotten so bad? Well, no, scratch that. There were plenty of explanations to be had. But somehow, she hadn't expected one of the terrible things to be Finn and Poe trying to -

To what? Include her? Not likely. Not in the way she wanted. And yet, part of her had been tempted to say yes. What a disaster that would have been. She'd have slept with them, and it would have been amazing, right up until the point where she asked for more: more love, more time, more attention. Then they'd politely, but firmly, put her out. Forever. Or until she died at Snoke's hands, she supposed.

She shuddered, drawing in on herself. Loneliness couldn't kill you. She knew that, had in fact learned it long ago, but right then she felt certain that precedent would fold beneath the sheer weight of how awful she felt.

Then someone knocked on the storage room door.

All doors opened by command here. Whoever knocked knew she'd want privacy. That almost made her more resentful, reflected in her tone when she said, "What?"

"Manners," Mara said. She sounded vaguely amused, in the way she often did. "The ship alerted me to your distress. I'd like to come in, if I may."

Rey spared a horrifying moment to think about how much the ship might be spying on her. Then she said, "Fine."

The door slid open before she'd even finished talking. Mara looked calm and put together, utterly in control of herself. Envy of one's mother had to be a quick path to the dark side, yet it was envy Rey felt, sharp and clear.

"You're a mess," Mara said, with the mild tones of someone commenting on the weather.

Rey scowled.

Mara's lips quirked in an almost-smile, and she came to sit down next to Rey. "I might be too, if I had your problems."

"Might be?"

"Probably would be." Mara looked around the store room. "I did run away from your father, after all."

"You probably had your reasons," Rey said.

"Everyone always does. The Force, Luke's power, my power, war, pain, losing a child. Luke was a legend before I even met him, and I was a very effective shadow. That doesn't mean either of us did the right thing even half the time."

They were definitely legends, Rey thought. She still had moments where she felt like the thrilled fish out of water she'd been on the Millennium Falcon. Now, she felt weighed down by history that only half belonged to her, full of at least as much fear as awe. Seeing the remembrance in Mara's face brought that wonder back just a bit. "Did you think things would be good, after the war ended?"

"I wasn't with Luke then. I also wasn't on the right side of the law, if you take my meaning. Or the war, sometimes."

Rey swallowed back her less polite questions. "You weren't?"

"You've probably noticed that the galaxy abounds with criminals." Mara waited for Rey to nod. "I was one of them."

"You had the Force."

"It's not as rare as people like to pretend, but it's not a cure-all, either. I used it to smuggle things more than I used it to do good or help the galaxy, or whatever the Jedi tell themselves they're always doing."

"What changed?"

"Life. Your father, to an extent. I found myself wanting to do different things, so here I am."

"I suppose you're going to tell me that I can find love, too. I should put myself out there and just - forget all my fear, like a Skywalker would."

"I'd never tell you to be like a Skywalker." Mara raised an eyebrow. "They're largely idiots."

But - "What, then?"

"Take your chances," she said. Her expression indicated that she thought it was simple. Rey itched to disabuse her of the notion. How could it possibly be simple for her? "You're on a ship headed for evil, you've already had a hard life. Just take the chance. You'll be better for it."

"You know there's two of them," Rey said. "Right?"

"You're my daughter in more ways than one. Unless you're offering me Poe, in which case..."

"No! Mara!"

But Mara's smile mirrored Rey's own. "Now you understand my point of view," she said. She leaned forward and kissed Rey's forehead. "Take some time to think. You need it."

And then she left Rey alone.

Having a mother was strange. She felt comforted, she supposed, though of course Mara was completely wrong about whether or not Finn and Poe wanted what she also wanted. Still, having support was nice. And important, she reminded herself. It was very important for both morale and sanity.

Yes. Morale and sanity. Those were her concerns.

She let herself out of the storage bin eventually, and went to the tiny room that Luke had designated for padawan use. The crystal was there, on its own little platform, looming in the space despite the fact that it was mere inches off the ground. Rey sat in front of it, taking a deep breath and gazing into its depths.

This room wasn't a place for idiotic pining. Here, her priorities were - had to be - learning. She focused on the crystal and slowly exhaled, trying to expand her mind further and further.

The world sparkled in the crystal. She could see the malicious bits of Snoke's power as the ship sped through hyperspace. The crystal, too, carried some of that power - not Snoke's, but dark power all the same. It was easier to access than the light, sweet and tempting. No wonder so many people fell to the dark, Rey thought. Given the way the light evaded control, given how difficult it was to even try to access, she'd have been shocked if more than a few people devoted themselves to it.

Of course, they had. And they'd all died. Was the Jedi's extinction inevitable, then?

It was a poisonous, tempting thought. It came from the dark. Rey's brow furrowed as she dove deeper into the crystal.

Ultimately, she accomplished very little. Like the first time, she was only practicing the same concentration she'd need to wield the actual saber. She didn't doubt that he intended to draw the process out, to give her something to look forward to that was outside Snoke's influence. She'd do the same, in his shoes.

Poe showed up at her door that night, long after the communal meal had been served. "We missed you at dinner."

"I was tired."

"Sure."

He didn't go away. She was forced to look up and take in the image of him leaning against the wall in the doorway, hips cocked. He was so...so...

"You're staring," Poe said quietly.

She snapped her eyes away. "Like I said. I'm tired."

"How long ago did you come back? Six months?"

"I spent some time captured," Rey said. "It's been awhile. Ask the AI."

"Not that long, anyway. But you're so different now."

She didn't know if he meant it as condemnation. It sounded like he did, a bit. She could hardly blame him if that was the case, yet she found herself annoyed anyway. "Maybe you've just gotten to know me better."

"Maybe." He didn't say anything else, but he also didn't move from her door.

When the silence became unbearable, she said, "Did you come here for something in particular?"

"I wanted to apologize for this morning. It was my idea. Finn said it wouldn't go well." He half-smiled. "I didn't listen."

Now was the time for her to graciously accept his apology. If she did, they'd never bring it up again - and what a blessing that would be.

She said, "He was right. I don't want what you two think you're offering."

Poe raised his eyebrows.

"I'm not the kind of person who wants to be some - trinket in a relationship. A fun new diversion. With everything going on, how could you possibly think that's something I'd want?"

"That's not - what did he say to you?"

"Exactly what you told him to," Rey said with deadly calm.

"Pretty sure that's impossible," Poe said, "since I told him to ask you to stay with us. To stay, Rey, for more than one night." He pushed himself upright then, taking two firm steps into her room. On this ship, that meant he was next to her bed, his face inches from hers. "If you want to reject us, just say so. But not like this."

She flinched, and then several things happened at once.

Like an ultra-heated laser shot into Quadanium, Snoke's influence took over. She didn't realize she'd been carrying a knife until it was in her hand, the cold metal driving forward towards Poe's gut.

He was too fast. He darted to the side and caught her wrist. When the shock of the grip made her drop the knife, he said, "Rey! Rey, come back!"

She kicked out, and he fell. The knife's blade caught his arm, causing blood to seep onto the floor.

It was the sight of the blood that jolted her back. She threw herself away, against the wall, spreading her palms on the cool surface and gasping. She could feel the influence still, snaking through her mind - out, out, out, she thought furiously, screwing her eyes shut.

Her mind was a dark and tangled place, with recesses and depths that it was easy to get lost in. And so she did. She wandered in a desert made of her own pain and recrimination until BB-8's loud and panicked binary forced her back.

Leia stood in the doorway, BB-8 next to her. Luke and Mara crowded behind her. Finn, Rey realized, was in her room, crammed against Poe, seeing to his wound.

And all of them were staring at her.

"Rey?" Leia said. "You in there?"

Her voice was gentle, but her expression wasn't. Her eyes burned with fury. Oddly, Rey found it bracing: it meant that someone on this ship would stop her if Snoke managed to keep hold of her.

"Yes," she managed to say. "I'm sorry."

"It's really not that bad. A graze," Poe said.

Finn kept his back to Rey just then, taping a bandage down on Poe's arm. Unhappiness hunched his shoulders.

Damn, Rey thought miserably. Damn, damn, Force damn it all.

"I'm sorry," she said again. "I'm..."

"General," Poe said, his eyes still on Rey, "can you leave us alone?"

"You really think that's a good idea, Dameron?"

"Let's stop pretending you'd kill her for a second. I'm as safe as anyone."

It wasn't an order, which meant Leia could follow it. They all left, letting the door shut so that Rey was alone with Finn and Poe.

Finn turned around. "Rey."

"It wasn't me," Rey said. "Or it was, but...not. I'll stay away from him. I'll stay away from you both. I just -"

"Rey," Finn said, his voice tight with some emotion - anger, pain, Rey didn't know and didn't get a chance to ask, because Finn moved like lightning to pull her close and kiss her.

This was what she wanted, this and only this: Finn's mouth on hers, his hands in her hair, as Poe moved behind her, holding her up. Finn kissed as though Rey was already dying, like this was his last chance. His nails bit into her shoulders, hurting just a bit even as she pressed into it. She climbed into his lap with a scavenger's ease, held onto his neck like she might a rappelling rope, reaching back with one hand to keep Poe against her as she bit Finn's lip and pressed her tongue into his mouth.

"Rey." Finn pulled away; Rey, a fool, let him. He looked at her with wide, frightened eyes. "Rey. Are you sure?"

She wanted to say yes. Oh, how she wanted. Poe's fingers stroked along the base of her spine, a gentle rhythm that made goosebumps rise all over her arms and legs. In this cold ship, hurtling towards a death that seemed more likely every day, she wanted them both.

But she was afraid, and Finn could see. His expression gentled, and he touched her cheek as she closed her mouth.

"We can stay with you, if you want," Finn said. "For tonight."

She nodded. Poe led them to his room, with a bed twice as large as Rey's and still really too small for the three of them. He scooted against the wall, pulling Rey down to spoon against him. Rey, in turn, curled around Finn.

They were packed like a cheap transport ship, just as Rey had said they'd be when Poe first brought it up, and yet Rey found she didn't care. For once, she had everything she wanted.

At first she didn't realize she was dreaming again. Poe was taking her and Finn to see a first-generation X-wing. She had a lightsaber at her waist and showed it to a little girl also there to see the ship. They were on a planet with a beautiful clear sun and sparkling purple waters. The First Order was nowhere to be found, and Rey felt giddy with excitement again, finally free of worry and fear. They looked at the X-wing, and then Finn initiated a ridiculous wrestling fight that ended with laughing kisses in the grass.

Happiness was easy to wake up to and agonizing to feel fading. She tensed immediately, noting the slowly brightening ship's lights. Time to face the world again.

"You almost slept well," Poe said.

He was keeping his voice quiet; his breath ghosted along the back of her neck. They hadn't slept like this since the undercover mission, and Rey hated to realize she'd missed it.

"I did sleep well," she said finally.

"Until that last moment. You whimpered."

"Coming back was hard."

"Ah, Rey." He brushed his lips against her neck. "I wish we could end this."

"We will. We're going to." She forced some cheerfulness into her voice. "You'll have to be a citizen pilot, hauling moss chips to the Core planets."

"You don't sound like you believe that."

"You could also become a smuggler, I suppose."

"Me? My mother would return to this galaxy just to kill me." He kissed her neck again. "Don't worry. I'd keep you and Finn in the gadgets of your choice, even if I'm hauling legal cargo."

Her throat seized up. She'd have liked to run away, but Finn still lay in front of her, dead to the world.

"I'm sorry," Poe said. "That was - rude."

"No." Well, maybe. She chose her next words carefully, trying to be as honest as possible. "I can't think about it right now. All I feel is - I'm so sure everything's going to end badly. Snoke living in my head doesn't exactly help."

"We'll get him out of there. I promise."

Rey couldn't answer. She leaned back, pressing more firmly against him, dropping her head so that his lips could find her neck once more. He understood with shocking ease, and didn't press for anything more than a few slow, careful kisses, pulling back as Finn began to stir.

And so, in spite of everything, Rey started the day with a cautious spark of hope in her. She meditated on the crystal Luke had given her and didn't even run away when Luke joined her in the room.

"I haven't seen Leia scared that often," he said, like he was discussing a new model of hyperdrive. "She looked like she was losing Ben all over again."

"I said I'm sorry," Rey bit out.

"I didn't mean it like that." Luke spoke the words with no small amount of woe, like he was used to saying them. "I was going to compliment you."

"Oh."

"You pushed him away," Luke said. "That's more than Ben did."

"He was young, wasn't he?"

"Not much younger than you, at the end." Luke lifted a shoulder. "He didn't grow up like you did."

"And you think that made him weak?"

"No." A fierce syllable. "He was never weak. But he hadn't had to defend himself. Snoke found him early, before he'd learned he might have to fight."

Rey had only had the desert. Well, and Plutt. "You think I can beat him? Isn't he a thousand years old?"

"Probably older." Luke grimaced. "Sorry."

"It's about what I expected."

"That doesn't mean you can't defeat him."

"I'm not sure being elderly means you're not strong with the Force."

"It's the opposite, usually."

"Oh, great."

"I was about your age when I started out, you know."

"Trust me, I do know. I've heard all the stories."

"Not from me, you haven't. I'm a hero in most of them, to hear other people tell it."

"You don't think you're a hero?" She couldn't quite keep the skepticism out of her voice.

"I wanted to be, back then. But I was just a kid. I think I screwed up more often than I helped, back in the early days."

"Sure."

"Rey. I'm telling the truth. I didn't know anything. To me, the Rebellion was just a story."

She'd never had that luxury, and there was no good way to say that. She stayed silent instead.

"You remind me of Leia, more than anyone else. If she could kill Snoke for you, she'd do it."

"Why isn't she a Jedi?"

"It's too time-consuming. She was raised as a politician, and she's good at that."

Rey absorbed that. "I'd be jealous."

"It is a pretty neat set of skills." Luke nodded at the meditation crystal. "Are you getting places?"

"Slowly. Eventually."

"You'll get there," Luke said kindly, and patted her shoulder.

She hoped so. "Luke. Thank you."

He smiled. It was her smile, she realized - an older version, but recognizable all the same. "When we get through this, I'm going to buy you the best speeder engine on the market."

It was an image that danced in her mind the rest of the day.

-

They dropped out of light speed forty-eight hours later. Snoke's location resolved to an enormous gaseous planet in the Unknown Regions, surrounded by six moons. "Much as I'd love to speed in, guns a-blazing, a slow approach gives us a better chance," Mara said. "By which I mean, any chance."

"Anyone out there?" Poe said.

"No. And you've got Rey to thank for us knowing that - my radar's got twice the range now."

Rey flushed to hear the pride in Mara's voice.

"Of course, that doesn't mean we're in the clear." Now her voice became cold. "Those bastards like to sneak up on ships like mine and slaughter those inside."

"They wouldn't kill us easily," Leia said. "Not with five Force users."

Rey shivered. Finn reached out and touched her arm, and she let herself be pressed to his side.

"Morbid," Poe said lightly. "Either way, we're unlikely to encounter anyone until we're past the first moon."

The ship's alarms began to wail.

"You were saying?" Mara said, running to the pilot's chair. She'd barely sat down before she started swearing a blue streak, breaking out words even Rey had never heard before.

"What's happening?" Leia said.

"Ships, that's what's happening. Dozens of them."

Poe grimaced. "I'll go suit up."

"You'll be outnumbered," Leia said. "Impossibly so."

"Still better than nothing." Poe squeezed Finn's hand, then turned to leave.

A cold voice over the intercom said, "Jade Shadow, this is the Loyal Valor, hailing you to board. Do not attempt to flee or bar our entrance. This is First Order jurisdiction, and this ship and its occupants are wanted by order of the Supreme Leader."

Leia closed her eyes, her lips moving - a prayer? A curse? It didn't matter. They didn't have a choice.

"Be prepared to flee," Luke told Rey in an undertone.

Rey looked around the room. Someone had to do something. But they all looked grimly helpless.

"They're docking now," Mara said.

Rey wanted to move. She wanted to hide. But forced or otherwise, she found herself frozen to the spot, terror rocking through her, as General Hux and several storm troopers marched into the observation deck.

Hux looked around with watery eyes. "Not the improvements I'd have made, I must say."

Mara's tone could have frozen a star. "The First Order's not known for creativity."

"Perhaps not." He looked at them one by one, his eyes lingering on Rey and Finn. "Leia Organa. Mara Skywalker. Luke Skywalker. Rey of Jakku. FN-2187. Poe Dameron. You are under arrest for high treason before the Supreme Leader Snoke, as ordered by the forty-first convention of the Galactic Senate, confirmed by the Senate of the New Republic."

"Shadow governments," Leia said. "They have no jurisdiction on this ship."

"We'll see how well that argument holds up during court martial." He snapped his fingers. "Come along."

Rey felt fury bubbling within her. To access the Force now would be to let Snoke take hold of her. She knew that. But if the First Order took them, what would become of her? Something worse. She'd be a monster.

At least here, she could be a monster on her own terms. She stepped forward.

But she wasn't the only one. Leia did, too, and the gathering power that suddenly swept through the ship wasn't Rey's at all. "Hux," Leia said. "I didn't listen to the First Order's generals when they were the Empire's attack dogs, and I'm not going to listen to them when they're arrogant children, either." She raised her hands. Power snapped into existence, crackling in terrible bolts of light around her fingers. "Even hydras can be killed," she said, and gestured with the light.

Hux shot backwards, hitting the wall with a sickening crunch. The stormtroopers behind him stood absolutely still, watching.

"Call off the ships," Leia said, advancing on Hux.

He shook his head.

"Very well," Leia said, and lifted her hand for what Rey knew would be a killing blow.

One of the stormtroopers said, "Incredibly attractive though this is, there are more civilized solutions, Senator."

Leia froze mid-movement. "No," she said.

"Oh, yeah," the stormtrooper said, and removed his helmet.

Rey didn't know the man beneath it. But Leia did - and Luke, and Poe too, to judge by his whoop of delight. The man smiled at Leia as though she wasn't about to kill someone. "Don't worry. There's a virus running through their systems as we speak. Give it a minute, and they'll be gone."

Leia's expression went through a number of contortions. For a moment Rey thought she might cry. Finally, she said, "Lando Calrissian. Your timing hasn't gotten any better."

The stormtrooper threw back his head and laughed. "And you haven't gotten any less beautiful."

A keening alarm sounded through the ship. Mara sounded profoundly nonplussed as she said, "They're retreating."

"Make sure they take their garbage," Lando said, nodding to Hux.

Hux did nothing but glare, even as they led him back to the ship. The other stormtroopers, Lando was happy to tell them, were his own trusted associates. Hux piloted a half-dead raider away from Mara's ship, wholly alone.

"This is more of a crew than I really need," Mara said once they'd cleaned up. "Four extra people. I'm not even sure where you'll sleep."

"I'll think of something." Lando winked at Leia. Winked! Rey wasn't the only one who looked flabbergasted; she thought Finn might be close to fainting.

"Oh, I'm sure you will," Leia said. But she was smiling, too, in a way Rey hadn't really seen before.

"Right," Mara said. "More bodies for the eventual cannon fodder, I suppose." She hit the ship's throttle, sending them ratcheting past the first moon.

No other traps waited for them. Rey felt an unshakable uneasiness that matched Finn's. Finn himself brought it up, saying, "It's hard to believe Snoke invested all his available troops in a first-line defense."

"He probably didn't," Mara said. "But until someone starts shooting at us, we're going to keep going."

"We're sixteen hours out," Poe added. "Plenty of time to nap before we hit ground."

Rey looked out the enormous windows, into the darkness. "I can barely sense him."

She didn't add what if we're in the wrong place?, but Luke seemed to understand. "He's here. Laying low."

That made sense. He was, after all, a coward. She could understand that kind of cowardice, though. If she could've hid, she would have, too.

The sixteen hours passed, a unique kind of torture. At some point, Leia and Lando disappeared; when Finn noticed and asked about it, Poe only smirked terrifyingly. Mara eventually left too, and Luke, leaving the comm to the ship's autopilot. Mara had a fatalistic view about the First Order, apparently.

Or maybe she was just certain that this last leg of their journey would be peaceful. Rey couldn't be. She slept a bit, curled up in the pilot's seat, but what little rest she got was punctuated by fleeting nightmares. Even Poe and Finn's relative proximity, both of them sleeping on the observation deck's passenger benches, didn't help.

She fell asleep to the ship's white noise, and woke again too soon as the ship began its descent into the atmosphere. It shouldn't have been so simple, Rey thought; there should have been ground-mounted blasters to shoot them out of the sky, or a fleet of defenders that ambushed them as they attempted descent. But they landed in a conveniently flat clearing with no such interference.

"I'll give him this," Lando said. "He's got a sense of the dramatic even Lord Vader couldn't have matched." He glanced at Luke. "No offense."

"None taken," Luke said, pleasantly enough.

Would they joke about this one day, too? Rey hoped not.

BB-8 confirmed a clean environmental scan, and they all disembarked from the ship together. Finn took hold of Rey's hand as they walked into the clearing, with Poe on Finn's other side. As a comfort, it was working. If they had to run...well. She could pull away then.

"Wait," Mara said as they reached the edge of the clearing. She frowned at her datapad. "Something's not right."

The rain swept in from the other side of the clearing, so that by the time it occurred to Rey to run, she'd already seen the acid eating into Mara's ship, and seen BB-8 flee towards them, drops of corrosive liquid pitting its chassis on the way. Then Finn and Poe shouted, and Mara said, "Don't stop until I give a signal!", and they were off.

Rey had simply not imagined this. She had no real defenses. They ran into a stand of trees, but the rain followed, growing ever closer and killing everything in its path.

She gasped as a thorn caught at the tender flesh of her leg. They weren't going to make it; she saw that now. Even as she slowed down, Poe turned back to yell, "Rey! Rey, come on!"

But it wouldn't be enough. She couldn't run quickly enough, and she knew it. The rain would fall, and they'd all die. She'd never know her mother because she'd be dead. She'd never kiss Finn or Poe again. She'd never breathe freely, she'd never see the Resistance win.

No. No.

She raised her hands, opening herself to the Force.

The dark side was all around; it was easy to grab hold of it. She had more power than she knew what to do with, more than enough power to turn the rain back, to find the cloud it originated from and encourage it to go elsewhere. She was aware of yelling, and of fear coming off the group in enormous waves, but she didn't let it stop her. Death right here, after coming so far, was unacceptable.

"Rey."

A strong voice, closer than the others. She managed to turn enough to see Leia, wreathed in her own power.

"I'll hold them off," she said.

"It'll hurt you." It was hurting Rey, even as the Force welcomed here, even as she felt every crack in her soul pried apart by the delicious, heady power.

"I'll survive," Leia said, with the confidence of someone who thought they might not survive. "But I can't face Snoke. You can. Go."

She had no time to hesitate, so she didn't, even when Lando moved to stand next to Leia, shrugging when Leia tried to glare at him. Rey ran to follow the others, and when Luke looked back at his sister and Lando, Rey took the lead of the group.

Ahead she saw only trees, but she heard the screech of some kind of animal as the wind carried the smell of carrion to her nose. If her heart broke right then, she didn't take the time to notice.

The woods became more and more dense, until the sound of the attack faded. For awhile, they walked in silence. Rey could feel something working at her mind like she might try to file down old bolts on a valuable ship part: a steady pressure, only terrifying in how inexorable it was. When she mentioned it to Luke, he only nodded and told her to hold onto Finn.

Deeper into the woods they went. The branches on either side of the path drooped lower and lower; after awhile, Rey noticed that they were covered in dark red vines that dripped viscous liquid onto the packed dirt.

Someone had been here. The path made that obvious enough. But they saw no one, human or any other sentient species - or non-sentient, for that matter. It seemed to Rey that the farther into the wood they went, the closer they were to being completely alone.

She nearly voiced the opinion to Finn. Then they rounded a curve in the path, and at the top of the next hill stood a figure in a long, black robe.

"Oh, no," Finn whispered. Rey very much agreed.

"Keep walking," Mara said. "Trust me. The last thing you want is to show weakness in this place."

"Should I ask how you know that?" Poe said.

"Only if you want a long, boring story." Mara picked up speed, leading the group to the hooded figure. "Well met," she said. "Do you work for Snoke, or are you just an unfortunate traveler like ourselves?"

"Supreme Leader Snoke will lance the boil that is Jedi society and return order to the galaxy," the hooded figure said.

Rey's temple began to throb.

"Not a traveler, then." Mara sighed. "How much?"

She couldn't mean to bribe a mind-controlled slave of a dark lord. Could she? Rey touched her temple, where the insistent pressure had begun to throb. "Mara -"

"Hush, daughter." Mara flashed her a smile. "You'd be surprised who can be bought off."

"Your tainted coin cannot persuade me," the figure said.

"I wasn't going to offer you coin. This far out, I'm sure you've got moons where you can find whatever precious metals you want." Mara tapped her chin in a mockery of pensiveness. "Probably not force crystals, though. Those are still pretty rare, in my estimation."

The figure hissed. "Whore."

"Jedi," Mara corrected. "Or close enough." She tilted her head. "How many would you take?"

They watched as the figure's hand, the only part of their body that Rey could see, began to shake.

"I know he controls you." Mara sounded quiet now, achingly sympathetic. Rey's temples felt like they were buzzing. "Freedom is probably hard to imagine. But the right leverage can get you some."

She was lying. Even if Rey's instincts hadn't told her so, there was the small matter of Snoke's presence in her mind, the sneering disbelief. She watched as the figure replicated that emotion, obvious in their body language and tone when they said, "Supreme Leader Snoke commands my eternal loyalty. Your temptation cannot touch me."

"That's a pity. I didn't want to hurt you." Mara moved too quickly to track, unsheathing a blaster and shooting at the figure.

For a moment, time seemed to slow. The blaster's bolt hovered in the air, trembling with force, unmoving. "Oh, no," Finn whispered.

The figure pushed their hood off. Kylo Ren looked down at them with contempt.

"I told you," he said. "My loyalty cannot be bought." Slowly, with a cracking noise that sounded like bone breaking, he closed his hand into a fist, forcing the blaster bolt smaller and smaller until it disappeared.

Mara and Luke both stood very still.

When Ren spoke again, his voice shook. "You thought you could stop me. You were wrong."

"Ben," Luke said. "Don't do this again."

"You think I regret it? You think I won't? I killed those students because you'd filled them with poison! The weakness of the Jedi." Ren gestured, bringing a tree down inches from Finn and Rey. They both moved instinctively, darting to the side. Rey firmed her grip on her blaster, and was pleased to see Finn doing the same. She also had her staff on her back; it seemed, in this place, like a completely absurd conceit. Who would she fight with it? Could she undo Snoke with a salvaged staff? She'd die before she got it off her back, the nasty voice in her head whispered.

"I'm not asking for them." Luke's exhausted voice dragged Rey's attention back to the present.

"Oh? Just like you didn't beg for your students, the idiotic children who thought you had their best interests in mind?"

"Ben. They're not children. I'm asking for your own sake."

Ren froze. A cool wind blew through the clearing; Rey held herself stiff against shivering.

He had to react eventually, though. His mouth curled into a sneer. "You think these two could stop me? You never did have any faith in me, Uncle."

Luke had no snappy retort. Ren activated his saber, the red light dancing in uneven fits and starts. Luke held up his own saber and waited. When Ren charged, his expression a rictus of fury, Luke responded, moving defensively away with a lightness of foot that seemed at odds with his age.

Standing there, Rey felt very sadly sure that Luke was going to die. It sent waves of regret through her. He was her father, and she'd only just come to know him, and now she was going to lose him. Of course, the tiny voice whispered, if Rey herself died too, she wouldn't have much time to regret it all.

A bit of light sparked at the edge of her vision. She glanced to the side and saw that red light, so dark it was almost invisible, shone at the edge of the trees on the side of the path.

Finn, Poe, and Mara didn't seem to notice; all their attention was on the fight. Poe, too, held a blaster as though he might get lucky with a shot at Ren. He wouldn't, Rey thought, and edged away from the group, moving closer to the light.

The dull red resolved itself into deep maroon with tiny sparks of bright crimson. It wasn't a laser, nor was it natural light of any kind. It looked like a red crystal might if someone sent power through it. Rey wanted to examine it more closely, but when she tried to focus on it, a sick, dizzy feeling came over her.

Follow.

Rey's legs moved of their own accord, carrying her into the trees. The light surrounded her, so that her own vision took on an odd red patina. She thought that she should be panicking. Her heard pounded in her chest as she walked, and her hands shook, yet she kept walking, her legs moving with their usual surety.

She didn't think his name until she was well and truly separated from the others: Snoke.

Of course. Who did you think? A snicker. Keep going, now. An invisible force pushed her forward, making her stumble.

Now, truly, she felt terrified. Would he kill her? Would that give him the power he wanted? No - nothing so simple. It would hurt. Of that she was sure.

The inaudible voice stayed silent on the matter, letting her wonder as she walked, and walked, and walked, still surrounded by the odd red film. Finally, she came to a sheer cliff face, rising out of the planet's gloom so abruptly that she almost ran into it.

She couldn't have seen very well in the gloom even if the red film hadn't obscured her vision, so at first she didn't notice that the cliff's face was an odd color and texture. Her legs forced her forward, though, and so she saw that what she had taken for rock couldn't possibly be. It was smooth and pale, utterly free of cracks or seams. Maybe, she told herself, it was chalk. Maybe it was natural. It didn't need to be something terrible, just because it looked disconcerting.

She wanted to look away. She thought it several times and heard only silence in response. Finally, when her eyes began to tremble with the effort of staying open, and when she began breathing more quickly with rising panic, Snoke released her gaze.

It served as limited relief; he forced her to move down the cliff face until she came to an opening, barely more than a seam in the solid material.

In she went. Small though she was, she could only fit in sideways. It wasn't the first tight space she'd been in, but that didn't make it any less terrifying. The only bright side was that she was already so frightened that some extra fear for her life hardly registered.

Still, when the crack opened into a cave, she fell to her knees, breathing deeply for the first time in what felt like ages, barely managing to hold back gasping sobs. It took her long moments of dizzying freedom to realize that the red film had disappeared.

It should have been good news. Rey knew better than to think it was. Dread filled her, and she moved to her feet, pulling her staff off her back.

Do you think that will help you?

"I'll take what I can get." She looked around the cave. What light there was had no definable source; like the sun shining fiercely through heavy clouds, the light illuminated without brightening. She saw no sign of Snoke, or even the throne Liren had described as Snoke's favored backdrop.

Fool. I am everywhere, and I am nowhere. I have become as the Force, its own master.

Even through his power and control, Rey could tell that statement was a lie. He'd lured her here, after all, and his control was imperfect at best. She'd spent half her time on her mother's ship fighting him and considering the nature of the Force. And of course, she realized, that had been Luke's intention. She'd seen the Force in the stars and in the ship and in the people around her, in the droids and in the ship's plants. In Liren, someone she hated, and Finn, someone she loved. No, Snoke wasn't the Force. He wasn't even really like the Force.

She opened eyes she didn't realize she'd closed, and looked straight in front of her through the suddenly illuminated cave.

The throne, she saw, wasn't a throne after all. It was a chair, ornately carved but no taller than Rey's shoulder. The person who sat in it was still smaller. Malevolence radiated from it, but as Rey stepped forward - of her own volition this time - she realized that most of what she felt was sheer, overwhelming pain.

Oh.

"Now you see," the creature rasped out loud. It - he - regarded her with glassy eyes from scarcely three feet away. "The Jedi destroyed this body and the mind it once held. Now, I will destroy the Jedi." He raised a withered hand and pointed it at her.

And so she did see, very vividly. She saw someone who might have been Snoke trained by Jedi, emotion suppressed, brutally punished for any deviation from Jedi standards. She saw him old and young, and she felt the terrible claustrophobia, the overwhelming loneliness. She watched as the loneliness became hatred, like sand melted into glass: his power grew, and so did his loneliness, until he was the being who stretched through time and space and hatred nearly everything he came into contact with. The Jedi moved towards a more compassionate model of training, and then a more warlike one; he'd been here, she realized, for thousands of years. The Jedi who'd so cruelly broken him were all long dead.

And yet, here he sat, hollowed out of anything but his anger and pain. Even as he stopped projecting his memories, she could feel his influence in her mind again.

He was evil, and he was pathetic. Rey, whose own loneliness had sometimes felt like enough to split the galaxy in two, felt awash in pity.

"No," he hissed.

She felt him trying to push the emotions on her: anger. Rage. Hatred of the Jedi, and love of the Dark side and the addictive ease with which it could be accessed.

The loneliness underpinned it all, and it was the loneliness that Rey felt and immediately, intimately knew. It only fed her pity.

"You will destroy the Jedi as my tool and heir!"

Her hands tightened around her staff. It knew her well; it was keyed to her skin and carefully customized to her own needs. She understood now that the Force ran through it, just as it ran through this cave, horrible though it was.

"I won't," she said, and moved the staff in a killing blow.

He died easily; he died surprised. She waited for the aftershock, but it never came. His hold on her simply disappeared, and as she stood there, staring at his crumpled body, the light in the cave grew into sunshine streaming in from a crack in the ceiling, hardly twenty feet above her.

She put aside wondering how one person's evil could blot out the sun and began climbing the rock. It wasn't quite sheer, and she hadn't really lost any of her old skills; it was easy enough for her to climb the cliff wall and then claw her way through the opening at the top.

She caught up with Poe, Finn, and Mara under a bright blue sky. When she noticed Luke's absence, her throat tightened in fear. "Is he -"

"With Ren," Mara said. "Well, with Ren's body. He'll rejoin us at the ship shortly."

"And Leia?"

Mara looked at her with the ghost of a smile. "Can't you tell? She's fine. She'll be rendezvousing with us as well."

Fine. Was that the word for it? If Luke was mourning Ren, then surely Leia did, too. And it had only been a few months since Han. Rey swallowed hard past the lump in her throat.

"You okay?" Poe said quietly.

Whatever she said would be heard by Mara and thus, probably, reported back to Luke and Leia. Her whole family. Rey didn't, then, report anything she was actually feeling; she just nodded tersely and fell into step with the group as they walked back to Mara's ship.

Leia and Luke boarded many hours later. Mara reported the fact by saying that they'd gone to their rooms; BB-8, newly scarred, gave the flight authorization, and they left the planet soon after. Rey lay awake in her bunk for a long time that night. Part of her kept insisting that it couldn't be that simple. It felt like they hadn't done enough; she'd killed Snoke, but in the end it hadn't felt just at all, only sadly necessary.

She tried not to be depressed about it. Mostly she failed.

They all met in the kitchen the next morning. Luke looked his usual solemn self, but sadder. Leia had dark circles under her eyes that betrayed how little sleep she'd gotten. She conducted herself with a brittle dignity that everyone respected, albeit with more than a little fear in their actions. No one openly discussed Snoke's planet, to Rey's relief.

After breakfast, they dispersed. Mara had placed the ship on autopilot, so that it was bound for Chandrila. Their going to Chandrila was, of course, a mixed blessing; they had no idea what they'd find, now that Snoke's influence had been destroyed. Rey was hoping for civility. Maybe everyone had just woken up from their haze, realized their mistakes, and reinstated the Senate. A girl could dream.

Whatever waited for them at the other end, the ship currently felt a bit like a tomb. Rey approached Luke only briefly. He set her to some drills, staff work and meditation on the - her - saber, utterly refusing to discuss what had transpired on Snoke's planet. She knew they'd have to talk about it eventually, especially given the corruption she'd seen in Snoke's memories. But Luke was almost as brittle as Leia. He'd been damaged on that planet, perhaps more than he wanted to admit. Rey kept her mouth shut, running through her assigned drills long after Luke had left her.

It took her awhile to realize she hadn't spoken since she'd gotten on the ship. She was fine, she thought; the trip to defeat Snoke had been awful, but it was over now.

That explanation didn't wash when she spent the second sleep shift sitting on the observation deck, staring out at the stars and fighting the tears that leaked from the corners of her eyes.

She wasn't surprised that the Jedi had a history of being awful in one direction or another. Luke hadn't exactly taught her to hold the old Jedi order in perfect esteem. Even her childhood dreams of being in the Rebellion hadn't involved much idolizing of the Jedi.

But Snoke's pain went beyond that. His had been the pain of abandonment and emotional torture, all wrapped up in a desire to hurt. If she recognized the former perfectly, if she knew it as well as she knew herself, how could she completely condemn the latter?

Easily, she thought. Snoke's pain didn't justify murder or possession.

But it did make it harder to hate him in turn. She sniffled and rubbed her tears away, fighting irritation with herself. No amount of crying would make this easier.

"Rey?"

She'd suspected Poe or Finn might find her, but she'd mostly assumed that Finn would be the one to actually talk. Apparently, she'd been wrong. She scrambled to her feet, blinked up at Poe, and did her best to act like she hadn't just been crying. "Hi. It's late."

"It is," Poe said. "I couldn't sleep."

"With Finn," Rey said before good sense could catch up with her. She shut her mouth with a click of teeth, cheeks turning red.

If Finn had been here, he would have prevaricated, trying to avoid confirming what she'd said. Poe just peered at her a little more closely. "Is that frowned upon on Jakku?"

"What?"

"The two of us," Poe said. "Or three people. You were so peaceful that night, and now you're, well. Not."

"I saw terrible things on Snoke's planet. Horrible nightmares."

"I know. Trust me, I get the comedown after a big fight, and this was the biggest of them all. But that's what we could've helped you with. That's why we asked."

For a moment, she didn't understand. When she got it, irritation washed over her. "You didn't even mention it!"

He dragged a hand through his hair. "Didn't we?"

Rey thought back to the beginning of the sleep shift: she had said she was going to sit out for a little while longer, and Finn had said, "Not too long. We all need sleep," and then looked at her with an expression that, at the time, she'd thought was strangely goofy.

Oh. But still. "No. Finn never said that."

"He probably thought it was implied."

"Why?" Rey all but yelled the question, exasperation threading through her voice.

Poe, she knew, was preternaturally patient. Yet apparently even he had limits. He said, with an edge in his voice, "Because we're interested. We've made that clear, haven't we? Haven't I? How many times should we say it? If it's not something you want, if you're hung up or, I don't know, repulsed, we'd like to know. Finn spends half his time being all sad and rejected. And I've got some getting over you to do, if that's what's going to happen." He shut his eyes and took a step away, breathing like he'd been running for hours.

But Rey, for whom most relationships were at least a little bit confusing, understood. More than understanding, she thought for the first time that perhaps what they all wanted wasn't so different.

She wasn't ready to say it. But to hope, maybe, wouldn't hurt anything.

So she took a step forward and touched Poe's hand. She lifted it and kissed the back of his hand.

"I'm tired," she said, looking him in the eyes, willing him to understand.

He did. His expression softened, and he pulled her closer, and she felt a relief and thankfulness that washed over her like a cool mist.

"Come to bed," he said quietly, in her ear. His lips brushed against her temple, and his hands framed her hips.

She nodded, moving her hands to hold his and letting him lead her away.

Poe and Finn's room, she learned, was truly both of theirs. The ship itself had combined the rooms to allow for it. Finn slept there already, in near-complete dark. But when Rey got into bed, feeling tentative enough to try and press herself against the wall, Finn half-mumbled and reached out, pulling her close to him, nuzzling her shoulder even as he slipped farther back into sleep.

Poe fit around her front perfectly, his back to her chest, kissing her hand as he put her arm around him. It was warm and safe, complete and utterly free of the fear and pain she'd felt she couldn't escape from.

She learned then that Snoke hadn't been responsible for everything negative in her mind. A tiny strand of anger ran through her; a soft voice whispered, this can't last. But it was distant, and she was tired. When she fell asleep, the voice was silenced.

-

They received the first post-Snoke reports from Chandrila the next day. Mon Mothma was rumored to have escaped. The Imperial Senate had erupted in furious accusations of deception and corruption. First Order loyalists had, for the most part, faded into the background.

"All in all, it's the best news we could hope for," said Lando. "But it's not the only news, unfortunately."

"They're doing what they did last time," Mara said, her voice full of angry certainty.

Lando nodded. "Gathering in the deep. It might be two days from now, it might be a hundred years, but the First Order will want another reckoning. They've got true believers mixed in with all the acolytes."

It was as people had said, then. "What are we going to do? I don't have any proof that I killed Snoke."

"You probably don't want proof," Leia said. "The Resistance isn't known for its love of extra-judicial killings." When Rey winced, she softened her tone to say, "You did the right thing. We all know that. But there's no benefit to publicizing it."

It was the right thing to say, in a sense. It was practical, Rey thought, and it was what she needed to hear - that she wouldn't be hurt or killed for self-defense. But it was also so seductive, the idea that she'd done the right thing in killing someone. It was too easy to believe. Was this how the Jedi had become corrupted, over and over? Was this the source of the poison that had lived within, and consumed, Snoke?

"People have a right to know," Rey found herself saying. "If we're to be a democracy...I killed him. He wasn't attacking me. I shouldn't have done it. There could be a trial."

"No," Luke said.

His voice was harsh enough to make her blink in surprise. He glared at her like she'd suggested powering up Starkiller Base again. "Luke -"

"It won't happen. No."

She opened her mouth to object, but Mara spoke before she had a chance. "The rule of law will exist, but he'd attacked you for months, Rey. He sought to enslave you. We're not going to send our only daughter to trial for that."

But I feel guilty, Rey didn't say. But this can't end so well, so easily, she swallowed back.

Finally she just nodded. Conversation moved on.

Chandrila being in chaos, several Senators - newly freed from heavy psychic influence - had called for General Leia to act as a city- or planet-wide administrator. When Mara read that particular piece of news, Leia sighed heavily. "I was and am a Senator, but I've never run a real city before, certainly not alone. It's a bit different from galactic governance."

"Too bad no one on this ship's ever run a city," Lando said.

Leia raised her eyebrows. "You think I should appoint you steward on Chandrila?"

"Can you think of anyone better?" Lando's smirk implied quite a bit, as did his slow stroke of the back of Leia's hand.

Rey felt a sudden and acute need to be elsewhere, which was mirrored by Luke's groan. "Not now," he said. "Lando, you can be Chandrila's steward, with Leia's recommendation and the Senate's approval. But not if you're going to act like a horny teenager."

"Jealous, Luke?"

"Luke has no reason to be jealous," Mara said.

Agony. Pure agony. "I'd like to be excused, please," Rey said.

"Me, too," Finn said.

BB-8 announced that it, also, would like to go, and immediately wheeled off to find R2.

"General," Poe said, and joined the exodus of younger people.

Though of course he wasn't as young as Rey. "Mara's not even that much older than you," Rey said, once they'd reached the relative safety of the greenhouse.

Poe grimaced. "Don't remind me. I'm just assuming you're both reasonably of age."

"Sure," Rey said. One year past counted.

Poe groaned.

"What will happen when we get to Chandrila?" Rey blurted out.

She regretted it almost immediately, as the joking atmosphere died. But she wanted, and needed, to know. "Does Luke have a school there?"

"Luke's never loved Chandrila," Poe said. "At least, not from what I've heard. You'll both keep being trained, obviously. But there aren't that many Force sensitives left."

"What about the acolytes?"

"They'll be among the deserters," Finn said. "They've got a lot of cachet within the First Order, especially with Kylo Ren gone."

Rey tried to picture it. She tried to imagine safely training with Luke, having enough to eat and no dark Force user trying to worm his way into her mind. She found it impossible - not that she was going to admit that out loud. "Of course. So there's lots of work to do."

"A lifetime's worth," Poe said, almost lightly.

A lifetime of hoping that they weren't remaking others' mistakes. Rey did her best to smile.

"Oh, also, parties," Poe said. "There'll be a party when we get to Chandrila."

Rey had seen the pilots drink enough to know what to expect. She nodded.

"I haven't really been to parties," Finn said. "Still. Aside from in the cafeteria, I guess."

Poe looked delighted. "My advice is, drink a lot of water. And stick close to me."

He leaned in, then, to kiss Finn. Rey wasn't surprised by it, as she told herself several times while watching their lips slide against each other. Finn was open, incredibly willing to kiss back and let Poe's hands slide over his face and down his neck. They both gave each other so much.

They were so attractive, together like this, that Rey felt completely unable to breathe. She managed to gasp, though, when Finn reached out and caught her arm, trailing his fingers down her skin until he had a hold of her hand.

She let herself be pulled in. They were both welcoming enough that it felt natural to kiss Finn, to feel his slightly dry skin beneath her fingers as she bit his lip. Poe took advantage of their position immediately, dropping his hands to Rey's waist and just barely pressing into the delicate skin of her hip.

"This isn't exactly a private room," Poe mumbled into her neck.

Finn hummed a little, then said, "Now it is."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing that'll get me in trouble." Finn sounded so confident then that Rey had to kiss him again, spreading her legs so he could press his thigh between them, making her gasp.

"In that case," Poe said. He moved away from her, but before she could complain, he was nudging his way between them.

Rey blinked in surprise when he pushed her against one of the hydroponic units. "What's your plan, exactly?"

"You'll see." Poe smiled at them both, just a quirk of his lips, then told Finn, "Stay busy," as he dropped to his knees.

"Pretty sure you'll enjoy this," Finn told Rey. He kissed her again, then touched her breasts, so gently that she barely felt it.

She appreciated the care, but she'd never been one for a slow - process. She pressed into his hand a little harder, making an impatient noise.

But Finn only laughed and moved away. "Give it a second."

She glared at him - and then gasped, because Poe had gotten her pants down and was pulling her thighs apart and spreading her wide with his fingers.

The wet noises made her blush, but Finn groaned when he heard them, his hands getting a little rougher on her. Rough, right then, was what she wanted: rough and hard, and fast. Poe still refused to give her the last one.

He did lick her, though. Long and slow, dragging his tongue over her clit, then moving around two fingers that he sank slowly inside of her. Finn was hard against her leg, and even as he kissed her, she wiggled a hand between them, pressing it against his pants.

It was so satisfying to watch him groan and move against her, even moreso when Poe moved his other hand to join her, rubbing Finn's hardness. She made a helpless noise at the feeling, then choked back a yell as Poe shifted, pulling his hand out of her and undoing Finn's pants.

It only took a moment. He quirked a smile at Rey, then pulled Finn's pants down, giving Finn the same treatment he'd given Rey.

This, though, was more familiar to him. He knew exactly what Finn wanted, and he gave it to him, hard and fast. Finn pulled Rey close to him, pressed his own fingers against Rey's clit, and bent to kiss her breasts as he shuddered against her.

He came first, biting back a moan, his hands twisted in Rey's and Poe's hair. He was breathtaking, too: frozen in ecstasy, his throat working, his jawline stark with tense muscles. Rey leaned in on impulse and kissed his neck, skimming her fingers over his stomach.

"You," Finn said a moment later. "Him. I -" He actually pressed Rey and Poe together then, like dolls.

Rey laughed, but it wasn't a humorous matter; Poe pulled her to him, and then lifted her so that her back was flush against Finn as Poe pressed inside her.

Full. She was so full, and yet still wet and aching. Finn's arms came around her, and in a rush of need, she guided his hands to her nipples. "Hard," she said. It came out breathy and tentative, so she firmed her voice into a command. "Hard," she said again, squeezing her legs around Poe.

He obeyed. It felt wonderful. He fucked her into Finn, rough thrusts that drew noise out of her as she spiraled away into an orgasm, and then another, her awareness lost to the feeling coursing through her body. She barely felt it when he came - but she heard him, broken and needy, whispering both her and Finn's names over and over again as his movement slowed.

When it was over, she slumped against Finn, gasping. The air was humid in the greenhouse, she suddenly realized. She could smell the plants growing all around them, and the recycled air blew past in a simulated breeze that made her shiver.

"Are you okay?" Finn rubbed her back.

"Cold," she said. But she wasn't that cold; she snuggled closer to Finn and sighed.

Poe, of course, was the one who stood and said, "There'll be security footage to deal with."

"I already scrambled it," Finn said. "You should learn to trust me."

Poe's laugh brushed against the back of Rey's neck. "Believe me, I do," he said, and reached around Rey to flick Finn's neck.

Rey wanted more. It was terrible to admit, but no less true. She wanted to push Finn down and ride him, she wanted to watch Finn and Poe get each other off. She wanted to fuck them both until she was too exhausted to move, and then she wanted to wake back up and do it all over again.

She sighed and leaned into Finn's neck. He made an interested noise and moved his hips against her, slowly, teasing. She arched against him a little, then met Poe's gaze - Poe's very interested, bowled over gaze - and did it more deliberately.

There was an idea.

It was easy with Finn. He understood what she wanted before she even expressed it. He lay on the floor of the greenhouse and watched with astonished eyes as she climbed onto him, kissing him, then guiding him inside her.

Of course, then Poe spoke. "She feels good, doesn't she?"

Finn made a noise halfway between a whimper and a cry, reaching out for Poe. Poe went easily, his laugh turning into a guttural moan when Finn got his hand on Poe's cock, stroking him roughly in time with Rey's movements.

When Finn spoke, he sounded as dazed as Rey had ever heard him. "She does."

"I could watch you both - for ages." Poe rocked his hips into Finn's hand on a sigh. "Rey, his chest. He likes that."

Rey didn't bother hiding her reaction to that, the pure jolt of energy it sent through her. She splayed shaking fingers on Finn's chest, dragging her nails through the sweat there, then pinching one of his nipples in a quick, precise movement.

His hips jumped beneath her, so she smiled and did it again. They needed no more speech. This time, when Rey's orgasm came on the heels of Finn's own, Poe held them both through it. It wasn't until after that they realized he needed no more attention, either.

It was so easy that it sent ecstasy through Rey's veins. It wasn't until much later, lying in the darkness of their tiny room, that she felt the foreboding sink into her again.

It was stupid, and she met it with irritation. Things would be fine. They'd land on Chandrila, and she'd become a Jedi in truth. But even as she thought it, she knew herself for a liar. She didn't have the control she wanted, nor the confidence she needed.

And so even as Finn smiled in his sleep, even as Poe made satisfied noises and clutched them both, Rey lay awake and worried.

-

She didn't know what she'd expected, really. Chandrila when she'd seen it had been under the grip of the First Order. That horribly constricted society, with its shiny streets and poverty-stricken underbelly, wasn't the Resistance's vision of a free society. She expected it to change, certainly.

But she hadn't expected to land on a planet afire with power struggles and near-local-war.

They had a safe landing in the capital. They were greeted by a man who identified himself as Mon Mothma's lieutenant and displayed credentials that satisfied an already grim Leia. He led them to a fortified tower, which stretched down through every city layer and far into the clouds. "We're responsible for everyone here," he explained, "though that may have been neglected recently."

The grime and pain Rey had seen wouldn't have developed in a few short years. She kept her mouth shut on the topic, though.

The lieutenant, Jarkon, explained the city's situation. First Order loyalists had largely fled for now, but that didn't mean the people who were left wanted anything to do with a Resistance-led New Republic government. "We can't subdue them violently, obviously," he said. "But that also limits our options."

Leia, who'd taken the lead spot at the table, raised her eyebrows. "I'd hope it does. Governments that have access to all the options tend towards the unjust."

"Of course." He smiled; it looked pained. "We welcome any direction to that effect."

"How much money do you have at your disposal?" Lando said.

"Excuse me?"

Lando crossed his arms, raised his eyebrows, and waited.

Jarkon spluttered for a moment before saying, "Chandrila is a participant in the Imperial - Republic - the credit system. We're in good standing."

"Really," Lando said. "Correct me if I'm wrong - I've gotten along in years, see, I'm not what I once was - but the first step in stabilizing Chandrila should be setting up credit stations, shouldn't it?"

"General." Jarkon took a deep breath. "If we enable credit to be drawn by any citizen, the lower levels will simply pour it into the black market."

"A valid concern. But if they can't buy food, what else might you have them do?"

"A ration station -"

"No," Rey burst out. "No rations."

"My assistant is correct," Lando said as Rey furiously tried not to blush. "For now, by order of General Organa, you answer to me. We won't be establishing a rationing system. Place a credit station at each ordinal of every level - or reactivate them if they already exist. Once we've sorted out a reasonable work office, we can ease people back into routines."

"You can't intend to establish work offices in the lower levels?" But Jarkon sounded cowed already, and looked unsurprised when Lando nodded.

"We'll put them in the places that need them most," Lando said. "Get moving. I'll expect a progress report in two hours."

Jarkon handled his dismissal with a disgruntled look. Lando looked around the table; three city administrators remained, plus Leia, Poe, and Rey. Luke was off training Finn and scanning the city for any potential Force-related disturbances; Mara had gone with him for reasons Rey was carefully not thinking about. It had been surprisingly easy to gain a 'these are my parents' aversion to thinking about their nascent love lives.

"Leave us for a second," Lando told the administrators. None of them looked pleased, but they exited the room.

"Right," Lando said. "How long do we think Mon Mothma has been imprisoned, then?"

Rey blinked in surprise, but Leia didn't miss a step, saying, "At least a year, if not longer. We'd suspected, but..."

"She'd never allow this," Poe said. His mouth was set in a hard, flat line. "Is Jarkon behind it?"

"We'll find out," Lando said. "I've got a couple people trailing him, and Chewie and R2 are into the network here. If he's up to something, we'll know."

"What's the other option?" Rey said.

"Jarkon could think she's really dead," Leia said. "Unlikely, but possible. Though I can't imagine any true Republic lieutenant pursuing such policies."

"People will do a lot for safety or stability." The way Lando said it, it sounded like more of a practical statement than a philosophical one. He hit the comm on the table. "Come back in, you three."

Lando set each administrator with jobs to do, extremely detailed and carefully delineated. Rey was impressed by the time he sent the third one on her way; Leia, she could see, was even more impressed. "Is Chandrila ready to host the Senate again, then?" she said.

"As ready as anyone," Lando said. "The Core Worlds should be ready for a recall election in a week. We'll set the Senate to convene at the beginning of next month."

"I've got work to do then, as well," Leia said. "Thank you for your time...Governor."

They left Lando with a smile on his face. Rey wished she could feel as lighthearted. Even Poe looked more cheerful now that he and Leia had mandates, but Rey just felt - adrift.

"What am I supposed to do?" she asked Leia when Leia announced her intention to make calls pertaining to setting the Senate up.

"You'll be training with Luke," Leia said. "Unless you'd prefer a different assignment?" She asked the question with a clear expectation for Rey to say no.

And Rey indeed didn't plan to say anything else. How could she? She had plenty of skills, but Leia wouldn't be willing to assign a Skywalker to some generic ship's mechanic job. Plus, even through her hesitation and wariness - of which she had plenty - she still felt drawn to the Force, and to working with it. Jedi training, once started, was very difficult to stop. She knew that perfectly well.

But it was still hard to shake her head. "I need to continue my training."

"I asked what you wanted, not what you think you should be doing." Leia held up a hand when Rey moved to protest. "Don't worry. I won't make you talk now. But there are people who care about you, Rey. We'd be willing to listen."

"I, for one," Poe said, "love hearing people's tales of woe. As you know."

Rey couldn't stop herself from blushing, which of course made Leia look between the two of them with obvious amusement. "I've got other meetings," Leia said. "Poe, you've got a free afternoon. Just so you're aware." She nodded at them both and left as Poe grimaced with embarrassment.

"She's bugged me about settling for, oh, longer than you've been an adult," Poe said. "And now she's got a niece to keep an eye on, too. So it's a big time for her."

He didn't quite meet her gaze as he joked, and Rey understood why. She could feel awkwardness practically crawling all over her. She desperately wanted Poe to care for her, and Finn too; she equally desperately wanted to never risk her emotions for long enough to actually talk about it. And so she, too, avoided Poe's gaze as she said, "I imagine she likes you quite a bit."

"She's a big-hearted person," Poe said. "People always forget that."

He gave Rey a speaking look just then, an "and you'd better not" kind of look. It made Rey's heart flutter; Poe was a good person, and he was defending Leia, and he'd likely defend her, too, if the time came. It made her feel like she'd gotten her hands on a brand new cruiser and was tumbling through the air, just to try it out.

"I should - ah, Luke will want me." She smiled at Poe. "You could come too, I bet Finn will be wanting lunch."

"And naturally, I'd go with him." Poe's eyes flicked to her mouth, then down farther, before settling on her face again. "You're not hungry?"

The double meaning was obvious, and she was, which made it even harder to ignore. But the fear lurked in her now, still. She said only, "Luke has work for me."

If Poe was disappointed, he didn't show it. He led them to the training space and kept up a stream of discussion the whole way.

-

"The dark side is strong within you," Luke said that day, as Rey plodded through quarterstaff training.

"Is that meant to be an insult?" Rey attempted to deal Luke a blow. He neatly sidestepped it, as she'd expected.

"I think you know it's not." Luke tapped her staff, lightning-quick, then retreated. "But I know what hurt feels like."

"I'm your daughter." It was still hard to say. But - "I'm not you."

"No. You're my student. It's my responsibility to be aware of...issues."

Issues. What a way to put it, Rey thought, stifling a hysterical laugh. She did her best to sound reasonable, even sane, when she said, "I killed Snoke. I'm having some backblow. That's all."

"You think he's really dead?"

Her stomach twisted. She couldn't get the image of Snoke's small, broken body out of her mind for more than a few seconds at a time. "Yes. I do."

Luke lowered his staff. He was looking at her with one of his haunted expressions, worry obvious all over his face. He said, "Do you want to talk about it?"

If he'd been sensing her distress as a student, then now he finally sounded like a father. She had to swallow past a lump her her throat when she said, "There's nothing to discuss."

"I'm not sure I believe you."

He said it so gently, yet something in Rey sparked with anger. "I don't have anything to say! He was pathetic. I killed him. What else could I possibly say? Would you like me to describe it? It only took a second. It was a waste of time, going out there. I - he -" The words crowded in her throat: angry words, bitter words. She shook her head. "Never mind."

Luke nodded. She expected a word of peacemaking, maybe, or at least an apology. Instead, he said, "My nephew is dead. He killed two children of old friends of mine, and a dozen other Force sensitive children. Leia tells me that despite all that, it still hurt to lay him to rest."

"To rest?"

"That's the hope." Luke spread his hands. "All we can really hope for is rest, don't you think?"

Something in her stomach twisted. "I don't know."

"If you killed him, you let him rest. Finally. You broke no laws, Rey."

That wasn't what she was worried about. She wanted to scream the truth at him. How could she train and learn in even a diluted Jedi tradition, and be sure she wouldn't end up just like him? Or - perhaps worse - how could she be sure she wouldn't end up like the teachers who made Snoke who he'd become?

"Rey. That won't happen."

She was projecting, then. She found she didn't care. Tears rolled down her face, and she didn't bother to wipe them away. Her grip on her staff hurt her fingers.

Luke had rarely hugged her, and never when she was this upset. He moved forward now, though, putting his hands over hers on the staff, disengaging her grip so that he could hug her.

"Shh," he said, and patted her back.

It was rather how she imagined 3PO might comfort someone, which is to say it was awkward and clearly an action he was unfamiliar with. But he was human, and close, and he believed in her. She could feel that coming from him, assurance and love in warm waves of heat.

She closed her eyes and leaned into him. "I'm scared," she said. "He hated the Jedi so much. And I agreed with him. What they did to him...he never forgot. Thousands of years and he never forgot."

"You're not responsible for his hatred," Luke said. "What you can do is move forward. Learn and train others. Try not to hurt others, and protect who you can."

He'd done that, and they'd died.

"I lost my students, yes. There are no guarantees," Luke said. "You're the one who came and got me off the island. We both have responsibilities now." She felt him smile. "Surprise."

The comfort didn't stop the storm inside her. She suspected nothing could, not right then. But it did make her feel slightly less like she was about to fly into pieces.

"That's a Skywalker trait," Luke told her. "Now. Let's get you projecting a little less."

He led her through a series of steps. At the end of them, he produced her crystal with an unapologetic look. "You should be ready for your vigil in a couple of weeks."

"What about Finn?"

"What about him?" Luke said blandly, which was how Rey learned he took student confidentiality pretty seriously.

He left her earlier than he'd planned. She went through a series of handstands and quick agility movements once she was alone. She felt less terrible by the time she finished, if also red-faced and unusually sweaty.

Finn and Poe were nowhere to be found after her trip to the fresher. The tower was teeming with newly arrived members of the Resistance, both civilian representatives from other planets and military members. Thinking of introducing herself to anyone made Rey feel like a cornered animal, so she escaped through a side entrance, hopping down the elevator to the city's second-top level.

Here, people's wariness was obvious. Most of the shops were empty, the cafes and bars sparsely populated. More than a few apartments appeared completely abandoned; First Order sympathizers had, of course, been much more common among the wealthy. Despite the prestige of this level, the sanitation droids had clearly had periods of inactivity; she saw bits of trash on the poly-walks, and more than a few unpleasant scents floated past her. Jarkon had been vague about what had happened in the capital after the First Order had evacuated, but Rey got the impression the city had been teetering closer to destruction than he'd admitted.

She found herself at the site of their - or the Resistance's - honeypot restaurant without realizing she'd been walking towards it. It stood at the junction between the first and second levels now; someone had build an elevator to let out across the airway from the restaurant. She walked over the polymer bridge that led right to the building's front door.

No new tenants had moved in, though it had been vacant for months now. The holo-sign was blank, as were the restaurant's windows; Rey tried the front door and found that no one had even disabled it. The door whooshed open silently, beckoning her inside.

Curiosity, Rey knew, could kill as easily as malnutrition or antagonizing the wrong person. And yet, in she went.

The tables had been stolen, as had the valuable privacy controls. But Poe's concierge desk remained, as did the stairway up to their apartment. Rey climbed cautiously, one hand on her blaster. But the door upstairs had been fairly well hidden, and she found when she got to the second floor that no one had bothered searching the apartment.

They'd been careful about leaving personal effects out. One of Poe's little carved figures still lay on the coffee table, but nothing of Finn's or Rey's remained in the place. And yet, when Rey closed her eyes and reached out with her senses, she could feel a faint impression of the three of them.

She had been so afraid for most of her time here. So much had happened since then that it was easy to forget. But here was her fear, and her longing, too; here was Finn's bravery and Poe's determination. And here was all their love, fading even now, yet still strong enough for Rey to pick up on it when she closed her eyes and cast her mind out.

How had she missed it the first time? Fear, she thought a bit wryly. The answer for her was always fear.

She ended up in the bedroom. It was prettiest now, in the early afternoon, with the sun streaming in through the skylight far above the bed. The bed itself, she was somewhat surprised to see, had been left alone. The sheets, a cheap polymer pair the Resistance had sent with them, were still mussed, as though the three of them might return to sleep at any moment. A pair of pants hung in the closet; it could have been Finn's or Poe's. A lump rose in her throat as she looked around, less because of memories - which were, after all, influenced by a pervasive fear of getting caught - but more because of what this room suggested they could have been. What, she thought, they almost had been, several times now. What they could be, if only she were brave enough.

She'd almost left the apartment when she saw the drawing pad. It sat on the bottom shelf of the end table right next to the door. Thin and light, it would have none of the functionality of a datapad - but its stylus was still attached to the side, and when she picked it up, the screen turned on.

She recognized Finn's handwriting instantly. It was only in the corner of the current page, with "Chandrila" and a date that matched when they'd been undercover, but it was clearly distinctive, small and neat block letters that spoke of training for precision and the personality that shone through in spite of it.

The rest of the drawing wasn't what she expected. It wasn't a portrait, though she and Poe were both on the page and easily identifiable. They sat on the apartment's couch with Finn between them, and in the drawing, Finn lay his head on Rey's shoulder. As she watched, the drawing-Finn moved, kissing Poe's cheek and saying something that made the three of them laugh.

It was an older style of drawing, she noted. No program had been used to create the in-between frames, though such programs had been common in holovids and in high Republic art for centuries; he'd drawn it all, carefully rendering their faces in different poses, charting the movement of a laugh and a sigh. It was beautiful and accurate, intimate and wonderful, and it had never happened in the time they'd been here. She held a drawing of Finn's longing.

It felt too intimate to keep staring at. She turned the drawing pad off, but tucked it in her rucksack to give to Finn later. Things between the three of them were still new enough that she could sense he wouldn't want to discuss it - but for the first time, real hope bloomed in her heart. Finn had wanted the same thing she did, or something similar, anyway. He probably still did. There had to be somewhere to go with that knowledge.

She walked back to the governor's tower soon after making her discovery. The streets stayed as abandoned as they'd been on her journey out; a few people peered at her, warily, from around building corners and through broken windows. This kind of abandonment might be normal for a Western Reaches town that had recently been raided. She suspected it hearkened back to ancient times for any long-term Chandrilan residents.

Finn was in his training with Luke, so Rey sent a droid to his room with the drawing pad and went off to work on her lightsaber drills. Luke had told her they'd be doing only lightsaber work in the morning. It took up enough of her attention that she didn't see Finn at all for the rest of the day.

He was missing at dinner, but Poe found her. "Mind if I sit?"

"Please," Rey said. The governor's tower had a workplace cafeteria that was much the same as a ship's might be. She'd picked a small round table, and given the dearth of employees in the tower, that meant she was eating alone.

He set his tray down across from her. "Finn's eating a meal bar and lying down. Luke's training really took it out of him."

Rey nodded and tried to avoid thinking about how Poe knew that. She failed. "You're still sharing, then?"

"There's no real need to," Poe said. "The tower's got plenty of space." He kept his gaze on her, to the point that it became profoundly disconcerting. "But we're sharing a room, yeah."

She hesitated for too long trying to think of something else to say. Poe, ever the opportunist, added, "There's space for three. That's why we picked it."

"I haven't seen it," she said, then winced, feeling like a fool.

"Not for lack of trying on our part." Poe raised his eyebrows. "You know, it's funny. I stole my mom's X-wing when I was five years old. I almost gave her a heart attack. But I see you sitting over here, and the first thing I think of doing is running away."

"I'm not scary."

"Sure." Poe shrugged. "But think of how we feel. It's hard to know what's going on in there."

She felt a bit of anger at that, unique in how rare it was post-killing Snoke. This was legitimate anger, though, from a source other than someone else's malevolence. Did he think this was low stakes for her? Did he think a no one from Jakku had rejected oh so many long-term relationships and chosen loneliness? "It's hard knowing what I'm feeling," she bit out.

But apparently that was the opening Poe had been waiting for. "Stay with us while you figure it out. Share our room. Move your stuff in, I don't know what stuff you have, but move it in." He said the last in a rush, like thought she'd stop him before he could get it all out.

Rey had nothing to say for a moment, and then she had too much to say: please yes, and does this mean forever, and I am honestly so afraid, worse than when I got stuck pinned under a detached engine, please make me less afraid. She managed to choke out, "I don't have a lot of stuff."

Poe's smile looked about as fragile as she felt. "It'll all fit, then."

And so it was decided: Rey was moving in. Poe told BB-8 as he followed Rey back to her soon-to-be-former room, and BB-8 reacted with whistles of joy, since apparently rolling back and forth down hallways to find its favorite people made its routing mechanisms complain. Thanks to BB-8's jubilant narration, Rey was thoroughly blushing by the time she'd finished gathering her things.

She rejected Poe's suggestion of a transport droid in favor of carrying her lone bag of belongings over to the new room. When the door to Poe and Finn's room slid open, she saw Finn sitting on the bed, staring down at his drawing tablet.

"Rey! You're - here? To stay?"

"If that's okay," Rey said. She glanced at Poe, but he looked untroubled. That wasn't, she realized, proof that he'd discussed it with Finn beforehand.

"Oh, no, it's great," Finn said. "I was just going through this - you must've guessed it was mine." He powered down the drawing tab. "Thanks."

"I just happened upon it." Rey dropped her bag and looked around the room. "Well."

"You could unpack, you know," Poe said.

So Rey did, though it was embarrassing. She had three outfits, all of which she laid in a single drawer. Her staff went in a corner; her tiny whittled totem stayed in her pocket. She was done in just a few minutes, and when she looked back at Poe and Finn, they were both staring at her with what she could only interpret as pity on their faces.

"I travel light," she told Poe, all but daring him to comment.

"You and Finn have that in common."

Blushing. More blushing. She might never stop, at this rate.

She definitely didn't stop when Finn stepped forward and kissed her.

She did blush, though. Her heart hammered in her chest. It was almost worst when Poe said, voice thick, "This is a really great visual, but I have work to do. Drills. I have to go."

"We'll say bye, then," Finn said with mischief in his eyes. He kissed one of Poe's cheeks, and Rey, feeling both stupid and excited, kissed the other.

The excitement faded as she was left alone with Finn. "I'm sorry," Rey said. "I've been...it's been hard."

Finn nodded. "For me, too."

Rey winced.

"Which means I get it," Finn said. "Not that I'm mad. I just -" He bit his lip. "You're really pretty. And you're you."

"You're amazing," Rey said. And then, overwhelmed with odd embarrassment and near-terror, she said, "Want to watch a holodrama?"

"God, yes," Finn said, and that was that.

-

"I want to apologize for what I'm about to do," Luke said the next day.

Rey, who had imagined him doing any number of horrifying Mara-related things in front of her since they'd started flirting, said, "Oh?"

Luke plunked several rocks in front of her. They were all clean, but uniformly covered in mineral deposits that made them look both craggy and deeply unattractive.

"I see." She didn't see.

"These are kyber crystals. Normally you'd travel to harvest your own. It's the best way to get a saber that's attuned to you."

"I thought you had me meditating on crystals already."

"I lied." Luke lifted a shoulder. "You were volatile. Those were meditation crystals. You have to choose one of these. Shaping a crystal and fitting it into an assemblage will define the final form of your saber."

"Is lying part of training in the Force?" But Rey's heart wasn't in the comment; she was distracted by the crystals. They called to her in a way the meditation crystals hadn't, alluring and entrancing.

"Sometimes." Luke sounded amused more than anything else. No, not amused - parentally fond. What an emotion, Rey thought, to have directed at herself.

Even that thought was more of a stray spark than a fully formed idea. Her attention had been pulled in by the crystal.

Luke must have left; she didn't notice either way. The crystal's rough-hewn outside hid a mass of energy and light. The Force, Rey thought, light and dark, tangled together. She couldn't ask the Force about the Jedi; she couldn't tell the Force all of her doubts. That wasn't the point of it. If Rey repudiated the Jedi and went to live on an island in an uninhabited Far Reach planet - if Rey, in fact, imitated Luke in disappointments as well as education - the Force would remain the same. Unknowable, and uncaring. The Jedi could harness the Force, but they no more defined it than Snoke had.

Why the rules, then? It was much easier to simply access the Force, and work out the details from there. It was much simpler to access the Force instinctively, to let the power flow through her, to feel the pure possibility held within the crystal, the ability to change, to power -

Ah.

She pulled back, distantly aware that her body was breathing hard, close to its limit. Here, again, was the dark side. And it was tempting too, even without Snoke in her mind. Could she wield a saber that embodied the whole Force? How could anyone possibly think it simple, or even achievable?

Repeatedly she let herself be drawn in, and repeatedly she pulled away from the brink. Her awareness of time's passage faded. What mattered here was what she could learn from the crystal, and the crystal had existed in its current form in the galaxy for a very long time.

She didn't realize how tired she was until Luke shook her from her trance. Her limbs felt like rubber, and her lungs burned as though she'd run several miles. Luke said, "What did you learn?"

"I'm not sure I'm meant to tell you."

Luke snorted and waved her out.

She tried to rest, but she couldn't pull her thoughts away from the crystal. When she lay down on the wide bed, her mind was buzzing so much that she thought she'd never sleep. Then, of course, she lost awareness, and only woke again in the early morning, finding herself squished against the wall with Finn and Poe next to her.

Right. She'd been exhausted. She propped herself up on one elbow and watched them both. She knew Luke wouldn't have told her if Finn was also training to build a saber. Either way, he didn't look half as tired as she still felt. Poe, of course, was as hale and healthy as ever. He'd forsaken a shirt for the night, and his skin showed signs of getting a lot of sun. Rey looked down at herself and grimaced: she needed the 'fresher and a lot more food before she'd look half as healthy or strong.

When she moved to hop out of the bed, Finn's brow furrowed and he grumbled, burrowing more solidly into the covers and grabbing her pillow. For a moment, longing tore at her - but she couldn't stay, so she forced herself to look away and go about the business of getting ready for the day.

Luke had brought in more brand-new mechanical materials than Rey had ever seen in one place. She did her best not to regard them dubiously, but Luke clearly caught on to her hesitance. "I know they seem a bit ostentatious," he said, "but you've scavenged things your whole life. A saber - it's a tool, it'll be close to you. They can be built - rebuilt - scavenged, but - your habit, it's not the only way to do things. You shouldn't think it is."

Rey ran that through her Luke filter and came to an astonishing conclusion. "You want me to have something nice and new."

Luke nodded.

It was like being given an entirely new workshop - literally. He showed her how to construct the double-sided handle, and how to mold the crystal to fit. The chassis came along beautifully, and Rey was so absorbed in the joy of creating it that she almost forgot the doubts that had plagued her.

Almost.

"It can sense your doubt," Luke said as the blade sputtered.

"I don't have doubt!"

Luke didn't answer; he didn't need to. She scowled and put the saber down, watching as the faulty blades blinked out of existence. "I'm tired."

"We'll try again tomorrow."

She waited for another comforting word; when he didn't offer it, she left as quickly as her feet would carry her.

She told herself that she wasn't sulking. She just didn't feel like going to bed yet, and so was sitting on the roof. And it wasn't the roof of the governor's tower, because that was a security risk. It wasn't, in fact, any roof on Chandrila's top level. It was the roof of the small speeder she'd taken down to the third level, docked on a scenic overlook that presented a beautiful view of the water.

But that wasn't sulking. She'd just found a nice place to sit, that was all.

"Did you know you're a block from the restaurant?"

She managed to stop herself from whirling around when she heard Poe's voice, just barely. Keeping her eyes on the water, she said, "What restaurant?"

He moved to stand next to the speeder; its height put Rey several inches above his head, still. "The one we lived at. Remember?"

"Of course I remember."

"We all do." He laughed a little. "Even if we don't want to."

It felt like holding a match to a bone-dry stick. An odd emotion rose in her, not quite anger, but a fraught cousin. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Something's up with you. Finn's been trying to get up the courage to ask you what's wrong, but since you're not a First Order commanding officer, he's having trouble with it. That's why it's always me who comes and gets you."

She looked down at him - which of course was a mistake. His gaze was kind and steady, confident, the very opposite of how Rey felt right then.

"How can you think this will work?" she blurted out.

"This, as in, the Republic?"

"New Republic." And of course that hadn't been what she'd meant. But she, who had survived often via cowardice, was grateful for the opportunity to lie.

"Well, it has to work. I've given you the whole speech before, about loyalty and belief. It's as true today as it ever was."

What was it like to have that kind of belief? She couldn't imagine - and she couldn't ask him.

He proved to be a terrifying interpreter of her silences. "You don't believe me."

"I've tried to."

"Do you think Finn will go back to the First Order?"

She reared back, feeling like she'd been struck. "He'd never! How could you say such a thing?"

"See? There you go."

She wanted to say it was different. And, of course, it was, because whatever Poe felt for the New Republic was almost certainly not what Rey felt for Finn. Or for Poe himself, for that matter. But... "He really wouldn't, though. And General Organa's a Skywalker. Which means the New Republic is run by -"

"Your aunt," Poe said. "You think you'll go evil, too?"

"No, I just -"

"It'll be a long life if you don't have faith in someone. Or something."

"I don't know if I'm ready to be a revolutionary." She didn't know if she was ready for a lot of things, actually. Including the way Poe was looking at her just now.

"You'll figure it out." He leaned forward then, just a shade shy of too quickly for her to react, and kissed her.

She wanted this. She wanted it in a way that seemed itself a kind of condemnation. Wanting Poe and Finn both combined with a keening desperation in a way that seemed almost certainly doomed for failure. And yet, even past that, she felt hope. It was a terrible sort of feeling, sharp and painful. It made her feel shallow and silly, and it lit her insides on fire as she kissed Poe back.

"Come home," he said when they pulled apart. "Otherwise Finn will just sulk."

And of course they couldn't have that. She found herself smiling. "All right, fine."

No one slept relaxed that night, but they were nominally together, at least. Rey wanted more - in fact, she wanted more quite desperately - but she'd rather fight a dozen more Snokes than actually ask for it. Not yet, she kept thinking. Not quiet yet.

The next day, she stood in the Jedi training room and tried to work her lightsaber.

"It will reflect your confidence and power in the Force," Luke said. "That's why you're having trouble."

She'd almost have preferred a teacher who minced words. But of course that wasn't Luke's way. She grimaced and tried to steady herself, but her lightsaber continued to hiss and spit in a very discouraging way.

"It's like some kind of cat," she said. "This can't be the point of being a Jedi."

"I'm not training you to be a Jedi," Luke said. "I'm training you to be a Force user. And it is. Unfortunately."

"What's the difference?" Rey grumbled, moving the saber in an arc. The two blades shimmered uncertainly, emitting a noise that she could only think of as complaining.

"Quite a bit. Jedi aren't allowed to have emotional relationships with other people, for example."

Rey stopped dead and stared at Luke. He looked back, more than slightly amused.

"That's not funny," she said as a thin defense for her pride.

"It isn't. And it's part of why we're moving away from that." Luke turned away with a casual mien, as though dismissing thousands of years of history was as easy as waving a hand. "Now. Try again. And think about it this time, really think. Let yourself feel the Force."

Every time Rey let herself feel the Force, she felt Snoke's formidably powerful helplessness, his anger and rage. It wasn't exactly an emotion that motivated a person towards understanding. Or gentleness.

But Luke was her teacher, and she felt responsible for at least trying. She let her breath out slowly, then inhaled and gripped her saber again, activating it.

The blades still wavered, but they were fractionally steadier this time, a watery purple. Luke smiled.

"Good. Again."

She drilled for the entire rest of the day. It was exhausting and, she couldn't help but feel, limited in its rewards. At the end of the day, the beams of her saber were still three times as uncertain as Luke's own, and she felt emotionally drained besides.

She was not, then, prepared to be greeted by both Finn and Poe when she exited the 'fresher. She especially wasn't ready for the pilot's helmet Poe carried.

"I'm very tired," she said, looking between them. "Were you going somewhere?"

"We were hoping you'd come with us," Finn said.

If Poe had asked, she thought she could have turned him down. Poe liked to pretend he wasn't sincere even when he clearly was, and he gave the impression of someone who could take a few disappointments. But Finn...Finn was genuinely nice, and kind, and good. Rey didn't want to disappoint Finn. "Only for a little bit," she said. "I mean it."

Finn's smile made her heart flop over in her chest. "Of course."

They took a lightweight speeder, flying low over Chandrila's top level. At first Rey thought they'd be heading for the parks farther north, but after they got away from the densest buildings, Poe veered right - and began flying over the water.

"What," Rey said, but the wind was such that no one could hear her; she had to sit still while Poe took them into the ocean, until the lights of the governor's tower barely twinkled in the distance. Then they began their descent.

She saw the island before they reached it. It was small, densely forested, and apparently - impossibly - uninhabited.

"What is this place?" she said once they'd disembarked.

"An old Jedi temple, technically," Poe said. "Finn found it on an old map. Functionally, it's a rock that handily destroys any attempts at non-Force-user settlement."

Rey could see it, here and there: ruins of poly-fiber construction that really shouldn't have been possible to tear apart. Those ruins, however, were largely eclipsed by the tall, brilliantly green trees, vines that threaded round their trunks and draped from branch to branch, and the forest's undergrowth, tiny flowers and damp moss.

"It's beautiful." She waited to feel something - a stirring change in the Force, perhaps, or a breakdown of all the anger she'd carried inside herself while fighting Snoke. Neither happened. She was only Rey, standing among the grass, breathing in an air more humid than any she was used to, and fighting the urge to pull Finn and Poe both in for a kiss.

"I heard about your saber," Finn said quietly.

She winced. "I'm working on it."

"So Luke told me. He asked me to try to figure out what your block was." Finn smiled a little. "Then he told me not to tell you I knew."

"It's embarrassing." And worrying, and horrifying, especially since it was bad enough that Luke had intervened with Finn. "I didn't know sabers could go wrong like this."

"A whole lot of the universe runs on faith," Poe said. "That's why we're here."

"I don't follow."

He stepped forward, so that they were scant inches apart. She wanted quite desperately to step away, but she made the mistake of locking gazes with Poe, and then she felt pinned to the ground. Finn's hand, too, didn't help; it twined in hers and lent her courage that she couldn't help but believe in.

"We've talked about it quite a bit," Poe said. "Me and Finn. We're trying to figure out how to get you to believe our offer is genuine."

She did. Or she wanted to. But seeing wasn't believing, even on an impossible island. She shook her head.

"Good thing I have a backup plan," Poe said. He kissed her, his hand curling around the back of her head.

It was a good kiss. Rey was more than happy to lean into it and kiss back. But then Poe took it one step farther, licking into her mouth as he spread a hand over her ass.

She broke away then. "Poe! We're in a temple."

"An old one." He smiled at her, crookedly, and her heart flopped over. They were both so - so -

"We're trying to say we love you," Finn said.

She turned to him, expression frozen with surprise.

He shrugged. "Sorry, Poe. But one of us had to say it for real. That's what we're hoping for, you know. Even if you never get the saber working. Love."

Love apparently felt like Finn holding her hand and stepping into her and Poe's space, kissing her cheek and then her jaw, stroking her hip. Love felt like his mouth on Poe's shoulder as Poe kissed her again. Love felt like both of them touching her all over, and holding her up when she swayed on her feet.

And of course, love felt like the backdrop to it all: dizzying, breathtaking hope.

She wanted to say yes with an intensity that surprised even her. But - "That won't fix anything with my training. This can't possibly be your whole plan."

"Maybe not," Finn said. "That's only half the plan, though."

"And the other half?" she said, turning to Poe. Her stomach tightened with trepidation.

"Here we go," he said, and he and Finn took each of her hands at once.

It was Finn who opened the connection up: the Force, expressed through him, a wild maelstrom of power. It was so much power, in fact, that her instinct was to flinch away, thinking of Snoke and all that might go wrong if she embraced the Force fully again.

Oh. She'd been flinching, then, for weeks.

"Let yourself feel it," Finn said. "We'll catch you. Don't worry."

He didn't understand; in fact, Rey thought, he couldn't understand. He'd never been in Snoke's control. The memory of it, sickeningly strong, acted as a stone wall might, keeping the Force away. Keeping her away from the Force, too, so that she couldn't abuse it, couldn't go to the dark.

Snoke would have tried to cajole her. Certainly, right then she had plenty for him to work with. Her insecurities formed a roiling mass in the pit of her stomach; her fear made her teeth chatter. If Snoke had been in her mind, he'd have only needed the barest hint of doubt or fear to make her fly apart.

Finn, apparently, was made of sterner stuff. "I love you," he said. "And I've been afraid before, too. Plenty of times. We'll catch you if something goes wrong."

Poe added, "You don't have to worry, Rey. You're safe here. Listen to the forest."

Safe. Could she be safe? She let out a slow breath and cast her attention beyond Poe and Finn.

The forest had not always been safe. It had ripped the poly-fibers apart to defend itself, howling with the fury of the Force in its purest form. And before then, it had been a home of Jedi, proud and brittle - and eventually, all dead. Malice had stalked the forest floor; anger and betrayal had broken a heart-tree, long ago. To the Force, time and memory were malleable. The forest, then, could tell her what it had experienced, because in some ways those experiences were still happening.

She told herself to be brave. When bravery failed, she told herself to stay standing.

Poe shone gold. The Force loved him, as much as it could feel love, though he only moved through it, never speaking to it directly. Finn carried an iridescent fire inside, tempered in unimaginable pain, as resilient and true as the temple itself.

And Rey saw herself through the eyes of the forest: small. Afraid. But full of life all the same.

Cajoling and manipulation wouldn't have worked. It was only with certainty and knowledge that Rey could take the last step, opening herself to the Force, feeling the full rush of its power for the first time since leaving Snoke's forsaken planet.

"Oh," she said, coming back into her body. The feeling of channeling the Force was nothing new, but now it was - more. Infinitely scarier, but infinitely more beautiful. "This is how it should have been?"

Finn's smile widened, relief showing all over his face. "Let's find out," he said, and pulled his saber out. He activated his, then waited for Rey.

She unhooked hers from her belt. A long handle and two blades: it was nothing like Luke's, or Snoke's for that matter. It was hers. She felt the crystal inside the chassis hum with recognition.

It activated as easily as a thought, and two purple blades appeared, casting steady light all over the clearing.

"Thank the Force," Poe said. "Uh, I assume that's what it's supposed to be doing?"

Rey bowed to Finn, unable to keep a grin back as she did. "It is. It is!" She deactivated it and ran over to Finn, who'd barely put his saber back in its holster before she tackled him.

The forest floor was damp and smelled a bit moldy. Apparently dirt had its job to do even on a Force-filled magical island. But even though twigs poked her back, Rey pulled Poe down to join them, laughing and trading kisses with them both as the world spun above, below, and within her.

-

When they returned to the governor's tower, it was to news that Lando had solidified his hold on the local government.

"Um," Rey said.

Leia raised her eyebrows. "Yes?"

"Does that mean he didn't have a hold on it before?"

"Are you questioning Lando Calrissian's management ability?"

"No, of course not," Rey hastened to say. "I only wondered -"

Leia surprised her by laughing. "You'd be right to question it. He's a scoundrel. He had some politics to navigate, as you might expect. Jarkon's in jail. Things have settled down, for the most part."

"The most part?"

"Well, Luke might have to knock some heads. In a Jedi sense."

"And you?" Standing this close to Leia, with the Force running through her, it was impossible not to feel Leia's power. She kept it banked, marking her very obviously as not a Jedi, but Rey suspected that kind of control took even more self-possession than she herself had at all.

"I'll go back to the Senate," Leia said. "That's what I am, on a good day: a senator."

"What about Lando?"

"What about him?" Leia said, just a bit sharply. "The Senate rotates its seat. I'll be back in Chandrila soon enough."

Asking for more details or saying she was happy for them, Rey suspected, would be embarrassing for them both. "And I'll continue training, I suppose."

"About that," Leia said. "Mara and Luke have been fighting about when to tell you, but they both forgot that I'm capable of talking to you myself. There's a lot of work to be done on Jakku, cleaning up the slavers, helping survivors of the First Order's massacre. Oh, and possibly fighting pirates."

"Pirates?"

"The Western Reaches are a lawless place." Leia smiled serenely. "Luke and Mara plan to go in their capacity as Galactic authorities. You'd need a pilot, of course - one whose focus was just on that, not on being a Jedi apprentice."

She didn't dare ask for Poe, but -

"I'd, personally, like to send someone less expensive," Leia said. "But I was told that if I didn't give Dameron up to the cause, he'd be putting in an extensive request for leave. So." She gave Rey a speaking look. "Try not to embarrass the New Republic."

A devil of mischief rose within her. "Isn't it the new, New Republic?"

"Not another word," Leia said - but she was smiling. "Pack your bags. We're sending you all off after dinner tonight, and Testor's reportedly ordered half the stock of booze on Chandrila for the occasion."

"Half of it? Really?"

"The other half will be for your wedding," Leia said, and laughed at the dumbstruck look on Rey's face.

-

"Look, here we are: the desert."

Finn said it with the irony of a joke in his voice, yet he glanced at Rey with tenderness even as Poe laughed. Rey only said, "We'll have a lot of cleanup to do."

Jakku wasn't as she remembered it. The Republic had already apprehended Plutt; he was the biggest boss around, though he of course reported to a higher power in the Western Reaches' crime syndicate. But there was, in truth, a lot to do. The community of Force worshipers that Poe had found had disbanded, and many were in need of help. Rey's own old community - if you could call it that - was in chaos, requiring aid in both food and organization.

It seemed small, though, Jakku did. Oh, the desert was vast as ever, and breathtaking besides. But when Rey looked at the outpost, she no longer saw threats that she had to carefully categorize. When she saw Plutt's station, she no longer saw a god who decided if she feasted or starved. Even her ship, though it woke pangs of odd homesickness in her, was smaller than she remembered.

"You should take what you need," Poe said. He stood next to her, just close enough for her to sense his presence. Finn held her hand in a sure, steady grip.

"I've got what I need," Rey said, "mostly." She took her doll, though, and her old necklaces, and her little book of stories. It all fit neatly into a knapsack, and then they were moving again.

They had so much work to do, and so many people to help. And, of course, they had to clean up the shipyard.

But Rey had her two loves, one on each side. She had herself. She had a ship, and she had a job and a family.

All things considered, she wasn't doing half bad.